SCOTSGAY MAGAZINE ================= ScotsGay is a bi-monthly magazine for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. Edited, printed and published in Scotland Issue 23 - August 1998 ****IMPORTANT CHANGE***** In order to keep the length of these files down, we are no longer distributing our Listings Pages (which carry details of organisations, local groups, etc.) along with the text files from our magazine. Instead, you can obtain an up-to-date version by sending an e-mail to listserver@drink.demon.co.uk with the following in the body (not header) of the message: get listings The same information is also available at http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/current/list.html Whilst these are still distributed with these text files, current listings of Venues can be obtained by sending an e-mail to listserver@drink.demon.co.uk with the following in the body (not header) of the message: get venues The same information is also available at http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/current/venues.html *************************** ELECTRONIC EDITION ***Now available on the Web: http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/ How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe information is now at the END of the magazine. All Material Copyright (c) Pageprint Limited 1998. Permission is hereby given to distribute this material provided that this copyright notice is included and that distribution is specifically for non-profitmaking reasons. Distribution for profit must be done only with prior written consent of the magazine any deviation from this will be seen as an infringement of copyright. Hardcopies are limited to one per person for personal use only and such hard copies are subject to the same copyright restrictions as laid out above. The printed edition of ScotsGay is available by post at the following rates: 6 issue sub (UK & EC) 6ukp 6 issue sub (Overseas) 12ukp 12 issue sub (UK & EC) 10ukp 12 issue sub (Overseas) 22ukp Make Cheques and POs payable to 'Pageprint Limited'or 'ScotsGay'and send them to: Subscriptions ScotsGay Pageprint Limited PO Box 666 Edinburgh Scotland EH7 5YW In this issue: Editorial - prudes & promises News - reports & investigations Otton On... - summertime... and the living is sleazy! Ogg's View - queer street or Compton Street? InsideOUT: Scottish Media Monitor - the sexually repressed Granny Spice - greetings from Holland Bump Yer Gums - good After Pride glow Glaschu - the genuine article Dun Eideann - gorgeous babes invasion Inbhir Nis - pansy pics Dun-Dèagh - inducing harm Moireibh - comfortable shoes? Obair Dheadhain - picture of health Boxes - the Meet Market! Venues - what and where International - news from around the world Reviews - books & festive & film Switchboards and Helplines Music - Joy DJ Alan's latest chart ScotsDyke - interviewing the Well Oiled Sisters EDITORIAL ========= It has not been an encouraging couple of months in the Garden of Gay Liberation. As we forecast, their Lordships caused our NewLabour government to cave in over 16 without a whimper. Which rather shows just how strongly New Labour are committed to equality as opposed to imposing fees on students. The NewLabour Home Secretary Jack Straw has promised another vote in the next parliamentary session with a commitment to using the Parliament Act to force things through the Lords. However, in the meantime, he refuses to do what the Tories did in Scotland years ago: to instruct the law officers not to bring prosecutions involving consenting 16 and 17 year olds as such prosecutions would not be in the public interest. It's a good thing that his son only had a bit of blow rather than blowing a sixteen year old! The recent Lambeth Conference showed the deeply caring side of the Anglican Communion. Let's not kid ourselves that the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland would be any better. And I think we all know by now exactly where the Catholic Pope stands. On a lighter note, we can watch with some amusement Billy `Liar' Clinton trying to extricate himself from a self inflicted situation. Serves him bloody well right! The sanctimonious old prude has finally been caught with his trousers well and truly down. And thanks for your help over Gays in the Military and Gay Marriages. What, of course, we'd all like to know is: Not whether the President inhaled, but whether Monica swallowed! Meanwhile, the American and British public continue to swallow everything they're thrown. Roll on our own Scottish Parliament where at least the bigots will be OUR bigots. John Hein ------------------------------------------------------------ NEWS ==== BIGGER, BOUNCIER, BEEFIER! In our mission to bring you the best community based magazine for lesbians, gays and bisexuals, we at ScotsGay are pleased to announce that, from this issue onwards, we will be combining with Cruise Magazine to bring you a single beefier publication. Under the ScotsGay/InsideOUT banner, we are now including several of the most popular columns from Cruise which will run alongside our usual fare. In effect we will be offering our readers the best lgb publication in Scotland. As you can see, we have already increased the number of pages in the magazine and have introduced more colour internally. Over the next few months, we will be looking at further ways in which we can improve ScotsGay/InsideOUT: Scotland's only lgb publication run on a non-profit basis and produced by lesbians, gays and bisexuals for our own community. Unlike other titles who print such large numbers that the scaffies struggle to carry the unwanted piles away a month later, we have always printed a more realistic number of copies which are snapped up quickly by our eager readers. From this month, thanks to the support of our advertisers, there will be a further thousand copies of ScotsGay/InsideOUT available every month free of charge in pubs, clubs and other venues. ScotsGay will of course continue to be distributed every two months through selected newsagents and booksellers. ScotsGay remains the only Scottish lgb title which takes the Internet seriously - the entire magazine is available both on the World Wide Web at http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/ or in text only format by E-mail (send a `subscribe scotsgay-list' message to listserver@drink.demon.co.uk). We are also pleased to supply copies on computer disc to visually impaired readers who do not have Internet access. If you would like to help by writing for (or otherwise contributing to) ScotsGay, please contact us by phone on 0131-539 0666, Fax on 0131-539 2999, E-mail: editorial@scotsgay.co.uk or snail-mail: PO Box 666, Edinburgh. EH7 5YW. PRIDE LOSES ITS WAY IN LONDON After the debacle of the postponement and subsequent cancellation of the pay-per-view Pride festival in London this year, things seem to be getting worse rather than better in London Pride land. A closed meeting of "interested parties" on 17th July, which included people such as the Pink Paper and Gay Times, as well as the Pride 98 March Advisory Committee and the lobbying group Stonewall, has decided to let the nation decide the future of the event. Well, to a certain extent anyway. The march group, rebranding itself as the Pride March Committee (PMC), has taken control of next year's march, but appears not to want anybody to take control of the festival until we've all filled in our questionaires. Naturally, it's the commercial interests of the Pink Paper and Gay Times who are drawing up, collecting and interpreting the questionnaires on our behalf. And the losers here seem to be the team trying to secure Hyde Park for a Europride event in 1999, an event which has been in planning since 1996. This is doubly depressing, since the opportunity to have Pride London in Hyde Park will not occur again until after the millennium. Perhaps this shouldn't be a surprise. The agenda for the so called "friendly discussion" in July included propsals for a "Pride Foundation" to regulate Pride, headed by a ukp30,000 Chief Executive, and had as its final point "Who here would like to work together to shape Pride next year?" Very accountable! It seems that the lessons of 1998, clear though they seem to many of us, are lost on the chosen few; rather than embracing an open, voluntary structure as proposed by those who wish to organise Europride in Hyde Park, the PMC wants to work with Kelvin Sollis of the Pink Paper. Sollis, who recently sacked a reporter and junior reporter after they published an article supportive of the Europride bid, is quoted as saying that if anyone organised a Pride without his support "they did so at their own risk". He is, however, being unusually reticent on one point - the fact that he was financially involved in Pride Events UK (PEUK), the company which was set up to make a profit out of Pride 1998, and failed so spectacularly. No doubt many of the deals being brokered in the smoke-filled rooms of London have the aim of producing a successful Pride event for the whole community. But we have already seen what happens when the festival is organised *for* rather than *by* the community. PEUK's attitude towards the bisexual and transgendered communities was woeful, and if commercial interests again dominate in 1999 we can't expect much improvement on this or many other important issues. So why should this interest us here in Scotland, with our own successful Pride event which is run on a voluntary, open and accountable basis? Well, let's not forget that only two years ago the same could be said of London. There is always a huge amount of pressure on Pride organisers to go "bigger and better" each year; already our community-led festival, held this year in Glasgow, costs upwards of ukp60,000 a year to put on. Do we want it to get any bigger? Is bigger really better? Are we prepared to take the consequences? In London there is still hope: an open meeting is planned for early September, which one hopes will allow everyone to be heard and will reach some sensible conclusions as to how the event can proceed. Unfortunately, for the time being, there is a danger that what we read in the UK's "national lesbian and gay newspaper" may not be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You have been warned... Duncan Hothersall [Duncan (Doogie) Hothersall was formerly Chair of Pride Scotland. He is no longer involved in Pride events of any kind. He now lives in Surrey with his wife and two children. Not!] CAN'T HELP SINGING On Wednesday 2nd September The Glasgow Gay Men's Chorus will have their relaunch party in the Polo Lounge starting at 7:30. The Chorus, which has sung at Gay related events and "straight" concerts for the past few years has finished their summer break and will be starting rehersals for shows towards the end of the year including a World AIDS day event and their famous Christmas Carol Concerts. Said Ross Wright, their Chairman, "We're looking forward to welcoming back all the old faces and new ones will be welcome too. There aren't any auditions and you don't even need to read music . All you need is to like to sing and to enjoy a good social night out once a week." So whether you are a training tenor, a budding George Michael or a Karaoke King, get yourself along to the Polo on the 2nd. If you want to find out more call Ross on 0802 627 344 or E-mail: ross350@compuserve.com GLASGAY! WORKSHOPS If you are Interested in filming, photography or writing then Glasgay! 98 is the festival for you. Glasgay! 98 is being held from Friday 30 October to Sunday 8 November 1998 in venues in and around Glasgow and includes theatre, film. galleries, discos, discussions and parties. A major part of Glasgay! 98 are the three community based projects - Little Pink Pictures, Generations of Space and a creative writing course and for each we are looking for participants. In conjunction with Glasgow Film and Video Workshop, "Little Pink Pictures" is a project which allows individuals to have "hands on" experience of making a short film. Participants would be trained in the planning, filming and editing required to make a short piece on any subject they see fit, culminating in a public performance of their work. This is an excellent opportunity for anyone who is interested in obtaining practical experience in film. "Generations of Space" is a unique and exciting photography and multimedia exhibition which will capture the changing nature of gay and lesbian space across Glasgow from the 1950s to the 1990s. We are looking for participants to photograph spaces which have a particular meaning to them. Dianne Barry, documentary film maker and photographer will facilitate a series of workshops, enabling people to learn new skills or improve old ones. Glasgay! 98 is delighted to have secured authors Emma Donahue and Julia Darling to hold workshops designed to develop the skills of anyone who is interested in creative writing. With two separate workshops, one for the complete novice and the other for the more experienced writer, this is an exciting chance to work with and learn from two of the foremost writers in the gay and lesbian literary scone. We expect there to be a considerable demand for all of the workshops and it may be necessary to limit the places available. For more information on any of these events you can contact Glasgay! on 0141-400 0301 or at the Glasgow Gay and Lesbian Centre, 11 Dixon Street Glasgow. YES PLEASE! After four successful nights, Edinburgh's monthly fetish/BDSM night Permission has found a warm place in the hearts of perverts of all sexualities in the Capital. Japanese rope bondage and new uses for clingfilm and duct tape have been demonstrated to an enthusiastic audience while others danced to the industrial, alternative, punk and goth sounds. Imaginative and beautiful costumes have breathed life into the varied dress code, spanning leather, rubber, PVC, uniform, industrial, fetish, cross-dress, corsetry, lingerie, futuristic, or just impressive (but no Nazi regalia). The venue includes changing space and space to dance as well as to play, and some bondage furniture and toys will be available in a quieter and better lit part of the club. At 4 pounds (or 3 with flyer) it's also markedly less expensive than many fetish events. Permission will henceforth be on the second Sunday of each month at Shady Lady's (the lower floor of the Rockin' Horse, entrance in Cowgate) from 11pm `till 3am, with a happy hour until midnight. Permission's web pages are up at http://www.hedonism.demon.co.uk/permission/ or you can mail them at permission@hedonism.demon.co.uk THREE NOT OUT! Thurday 16 July 1998 marked the third anniversary of the Metropolitan Community Church congregation in Edinburgh. In June 1995, two MCC clergy visited Edinburgh to take part in the first Pride Scotland march and festival. They organised a worship service and made some contacts. A month later, a meeting was held of those interested which resulted in their first worship service being held on Sunday 16 July. They have worshipped together ever since. Holy Trinity MCC Edinburgh now worships weekly and has been blessed by many talented and committed individuals who are keen to further the Church's ministry in Edinburgh. Meanwhile, a Scots cleric, the Rev James Gough McManus, has resigned all credentials and membership of the MCC and is expected to appear for trial at Middlesbrough Crown Court in October in connection with alleged fraud involving his former AIDS/HIV work. McManus has recently started his own church, Liberty and Peace, in Brighton which meets at the Unitarian Chapel. ELLIPTICAL BALLS Annan Rugby Club have been nursing their egos after a photograph of their team in the bath was posted on the Internet to advertise a soft porn site. The site has now been removed. CENTRE The long running saga of Edinburgh Lesbian Gay and Bisexual Centre's sale by OUTRIGHT Scotland to the charity set up to run it seems to be drawing to a close after a meeting with lawyers for both sides. It's hoped that the transfer will take place within the next month. FILTH Gay Men's Health in Edinburgh have published the latest edition of their grubby and perverted magazine Spurt! Copies are available, whilst stocks last, in Edinburgh bars and from GMH at 10a Union Street. FIFE Fife Friend are holding a Gangster and Molls birthday party and disco on September 6th to celebrate their 9th birthday. Details from Fife Friend or write to: Mr S Ross, PO Box 19, Kirkcaldy. KY1 3JF. WRIST BANDS Admission wrist-bands for the Manchester Mardi Gras will be on sale from Clone Zone in Glasgow. The event is expected to be as big as ever with over 300,000 visitors expected over the weekend. CABARAIDS AIDS/HIV charity Crusaid is holding a cabaret benefit on Monday 24th August at the Palladium, Broughton Place, Edinburgh. Compere is Scott Capurro and the line up includes Tony Hawks, Ed Byrne, Rabbi Lionel Blue, Hazel O'Connor, Mika and Kit and the Widow. DIVINE Women Only Club Divine Devas are having an extra night at Teviot Row House on 27th August as part of the Edinburgh International Club Festival. ------------------------------------------------------------------ OTTON ON... =========== SUMMERTIME... AND THE LIVING IS SLEAZY! (A History of Outdoor Sex In and Around Glasgow) Garry Otton continues to rootle about in the bushes, get steamy in the saunas, cavort in the cottages and generally investigate public sex in Glasgow... KELVINGROVE PARK One of the most extraordinary responses from Glasgow City Councils to the issue of men seeking contact with other men "in public" is to trim back the bushes to help to make what might be private, more public. In Kelvingrove Park, Glasgow's most notorious "gay haunt," (as the press like to refer to it), cutting back the bushes forces gays to move to another area of the park. Alan, a guest on BBC Radio Scotland's Speakeasy said how he had been attacked four times in Kelvingrove Park. "The attitudes and the moral backlash I got from the police was as bad as the attack itself." Another caller, Stephen, said after being attacked in Kelvingrove Park, all the police appeared to want to know was what he was doing there. They took no action, and left him with the impression that it was entirely his own fault. Not long before this, Robert Jarvis, Chief Superintendent of Strathclyde Police told The Herald: "We are not aware of an identified problem of gay people being assaulted." Police now regularly cruise the park at night in pairs, warning cruising gays of queerbashers. Unfortunately, the police never catch them, but plenty of gay men I spoke to bore a horrible testimony to their presence. CATHKIN BRAES A mix of heath and woodland, this is probably the most beautiful of all of Glasgow's gay cruising areas. With panoramic views over Glasgow, it is also one of the most discreet. At night, men cruise up and down in their cars, pulling in at any one of the numerous lay-bys. There is sometimes a coded display of flashing lights at night to signal intent but not much else. John, a middle-aged gay man told me: "In summer, men cruise the braes with occasional disturbances from youths from nearby Castlemilk. No one calls the police. The police sometimes pull up and wait before questioning you when you return to your car. They can be quite aggressive. They want to know everything. What you're doing here. Where you live and where you work..." STRATHCLYDE PARK With its close proximity to a fairground and the working class towns of Motherwell and Hamilton, this can be a dangerous place for gay men to meet. Last year, reports of youths ambushing cars were reported in the gay press. James, a middle-aged man told me: "I received 25 stitches to my head after I was beaten up. He ran off with my watch, which was worth about ukp20. I was too afraid to go to the police and told my family I'd been involved in a car accident." Gays tend to pull in at the car park furthest from the fair and walk down a gravel path leading into a beautifully shaded, wooded area. Where the paths cross, regulars sometimes stop and talk, exchanging gossip about recent conquests. Park wardens sometimes trudge through the undergrowth and plain-clothes police pull into the car park. "In a white Renault," one cruiser advised me. Local councillors earned certain notoriety last year when they refused the distribution of condoms. Many of the men who would have benefited do not identify themselves as gay. They have no access to dedicated safer sex information apart from the `out' gay men they meet cruising. On London's Hampstead Heath, condoms are available from glow-in-the-dark boxes attached to trees and TV and cabaret star Amy Lamé has even entertained late-night cruisers from a temporary stage. QUEEN'S PARK The slopes on the south side of the city offer panoramic views over the whole of the city. It can be very popular with gays, laying in the grass on hot summer afternoons. It hardly seems possible that this has been the scene of some of the most vicious attacks and murders of gay men. On the night of 2nd June 1995, a gang of three boys, aged between 18 and 20, and a 14-year-old girl went on a queerbashing rampage. The boys cracked the skull of one and critically injured another before jumping on 35-year-old Michael Doran. He received 83 blows to his body. They stabbed him several times in the groin, stamped on his face until they had broken every bone in his head. They left him in the bushes, choking to death in his own blood. With their clothes still bloodstained, they joined their friends at a nearby party and bragged about what they had done. The last man to be hanged in Scotland at Barlinnie prison was convicted of a similar murder that occurred in the sixties in Queen's Park. Following the press attention to Queen's Park as a gay cruising area after Michael Doran's murder, the number of men cruising almost doubled. BACKROOMS (PUBS) Now commonplace in London, pub backrooms, where sex takes place safely, is now spreading to major cities across the UK. It occurred for a short while at the Newtown Bar in Edinburgh until moral policing put paid to the practice. No backroom bars exist yet in Glasgow. SAUNAS The spread of gay bathhouses in London, (there are 11 and more are planned), including the ukp2 million investments into Chariots recreating the hedonistic atmosphere of Ancient Greece has been felt in Glasgow. There are now two, the Centurion and The Lane. The Calder Street baths was once the most popular venue for sauna-going men, despite heavy moral policing. Tom, an old regular here told me, "sex might happen sometimes in the toilets, but otherwise it's virtually non-existent. Furtive, quick and ultimately unsatisfying." Some men-only bathhouses try to scupper sexual negotiation by insisting on the unhealthy practice of wearing swimwear in the sauna. COTTAGES Cottages have been struggling to offer gay men a place of refuge for sexual negotiation since Victorian times. They are often at their busiest when straight-identified men call in on the way home from work, referred to in some circles as `happy hour.' Rude-boy graffiti has kept everyone aware of sexual diversity through the worst of two centuries of sexual repression. And it's not over yet. The common assumption is that toilets are for urination. Many are, but for the majority of straight men, the odd doorway or privet hedge better serves their needs. Amsterdam knows this. That's why for the 200,000 people attending this year's Queen's birthday party, the city set up bell-shaped urinals for men to piss up against in full view of the public. Cottages like the ones in St Vincent Street are more popular with male sex workers these days, but usefully serve as a place for men to make contact with other men under the pretext of relieving themselves. Moral policing can be performed with the aid of hidden cameras, routine surveillance or employing a full-time cleaner to peep behind a set of net curtains. In today's moral climate we are fed the mistaken assumption that cottaging is the pursuit of dirty old men. In fact, cottaging is a practice often started in early teens. The fact older men appear more visible is also a symptom of sexual repression. They have started the process of `coming out' much later, so appear to outnumber younger people; they are not likely to risk labelling themselves by walking into a gay bar and are at greater risk of arrest and the inevitable higher profile. In Stirling, police filmed a 13-year-old rent boy having sex with a number of older men before they rounded up the older men and prosecuted them. Older men as victims of the laws of "lewd and libidinous behaviour" are rarely offered sympathetic treatment when thrown into the public arena, and this resulted in two suicides. In 1916, the Bishop of London described the young rent boys around London's Piccadilly, the first stop for thousands of gay Scots fleeing sexual repression during the seventies. "They are the villain more mischievous than German spies who lie in wait to stain the chivalry of our boys, poison their minds and undermine their characters.. Shooting is not good enough for them." (c) Garry Otton 1998 -------------------------------------------------------------- OGG'S VIEW ========== NOT SO MUCH QUEER STREET AS COMPTON STREET Channel Four's current `Queer Street` series (all-night after Tales of the City on Saturday night) is typical of its broad-minded commitment to programming for minority interests and it deserves to be congratulated for the varied, even radical, nature of some of the content. Just as creditable is its financial backing of both `Tales' series, especially the second, `More Tales' which continues the Armistead Maupin saga in spite of the withdrawal of US. major networks from the project after boycott threats by the religious right. Who'd imagine such obvious attempts at censorship by right wing Christians could happen here? I wouldn't have, until that is, last month's Lambeth Bishops conference, which saw the coming together (if that's the right expression) of the worlds Anglican bishops in a ten-yearly policy-fest. What was billed as an opportunity to get approval for the idea of the Church accepting homosexual love as valid and decent, unexpectedly was highjacked by right wingers from the US allied to fundamentalists from African and Asian branches of the Church. Not only did they refuse even to allow gay clergy to address their meeting (as planned) but they then approved a right wing motion damning all homosexual love (as in sex) as `sin'. Such a huge reversal for the gay Christian movement underscores my warning in the previous edition of the danger of a backlash against gay rights and gay lifestyles unless a new energy and direction is given to our campaigning. So what's the connection to Queer Street, I hear you ask? Well the thing about programming for minorities is that the majority can, and surprisingly often, do, tune in as well. So what? Think about it. The output of Queer Street inasmuch as it is about British gays, is actually about London gays, with London salaries and London night life and that unique confidence and invulnerability that being young, good looking and gay in London brings (oh, and the odd `E' into the bargain). That in turn means that those documentaries offer a very skewed and if I may say so, smug view of what being gay in Britain today is all about. That in turn pisses off the straight viewers no end. So stuff them, let them watch their naff sexist programmes and quiz shows, surely this is our space to do in what ever the hell we want? Yes, but up to a point. Either we begin to think politically or we end up forever being puzzled by why sensible nice folk (like your mum and dad) hate us all so much. Thinking politically means targeting some of that programming to the crossover, eavesdropping straight audience. Unconvinced? A while back I took part in the BBC documentary It's Not Unusual. It was screened on BBC2 on a Sunday about 7p.m. I was amazed at the number of straights that watched it, and more to the point so were the Beeb! It turned out to be one of their highest audience Sunday documentaries. So what's the problem with the current London centred programming? It irritates not just straights but a lot of gays too. No wonder straights think we're a whinging bunch of arty farty pretty boys with more Armani than sense when you look at who speaks for us in those documentaries. It's hard to see where the rights and equality sympathy, or more importantly empathy, is going to come from when gay lifestyles look so, well, fin de siecle f. I wouldn't mind seeing instead some gays from Chester, or Bradford or Dundee talk about what the daily grind is like against callous homophobia, naff clubs and local councils that harass your cruising areas and put you bottom of the housing list. Even Michaelangelo Singnorile's polemic about gay monogamy, set in London of course, only interviewed London residents, all young, all in fabulous flats and clothes, all talking about monogamy in the context of there being "so many gorgeous guys its like being in a sweet shop" as one guy put it. Oh yeah, like that's the problem with monogamy in Paisley? The problem with my argument is that it supposes there is one great gay producer in chief who controls all these things, or even one gay activist committee that reads this type of article. There ain't, which is why its up to us to either get out there and actually make the programmes we want, or at least moan to the Channels that commission such well-meaning stuff. Here's an idea for our home grown activists. Why not a Scottish Broadcasting Bill that enshrines minority access to our local radio and TV stations and then some entertaining, informative, punchy, thought provoking and above all propagandist Scottish gay TV? I want to show us off to straights, in all our diverse, charming decent, funny, put upon and done-down glory. I want gay TV to promote, yes, promote homosexuality as valid, life-enhancing, different (and not so different) but above all a worthy aspect of humanity in this little country of ours. And if you think that's just pandering too much to the straights let me ask you two questions; 1) when was the last time you watched gay TV and you felt a straight friend would now understand you better if they'd seen it too? 2) when was the last time you watched gay TV and felt better about your own gay identity, or even recognised it being represented in the programme? Thought not. So ultimately a little propaganda won't just go a long way in solving our continuing political problems, it might even help with some of our own self esteem and self image problems too. Derek Ogg --------------------------------------------------------------------------- INSIDE OUT ========== InsideOut is a monthly magazine for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. Edited, printed and published in Scotland Issue 23 - August 1998 THE guide to Scotland's lesbian, gay and bisexual scene. Gossip and news and wibble from all over the country. Places to go, parties to crash, and people to meet in the humungous Meet Market. In this issue: Scottish Media Monitor - the sexually repressed Granny Spice - greetings from Holland Bump Yer Gums - good After Pride glow Glaschu - the genuine article Dun Eideann - gorgeous babes invasion Inbhir Nis - pansy pics Dun-Dèagh - inducing harm Moireibh - comfortable shoes? Obair Dheadhain - picture of health Boxes - the Meet Market! Venues - what and where SCOTTISH MEDIA MONITOR ====================== Garry Otton examines the sexually repressed! How blind can journalists be on the subject of sexual behaviour? Doug Archibald plumbed new depths in the Dumfries & Galloway Standard. The paper declared: "Police crack down on... GAY SEX IN PARK LOOS" after finding a toilet in Castledykes Park that "has become a nationally known meeting place for perverts." Don't rate yourselves too highly, Dumfries! And you would have thought anyone with a modicum of education knows that "males from the 'cottaging' fraternity (men who hang about toilets to commit indecent acts with each other)" - his words, not mine - can't all be 'perverts.' The Neanderthal Archibald rolled personal opinion over his report like a coat of emulsion. "Indecent acts take place on a daily basis in the 'repugnant' gents' toilets..." Homophobic councillor Tom Holmes - always relied upon to give an opinion on a subject so close to his heart - found a man who had taken his two-year-old granddaughter into the toilet. He had got onto Holmes after he had become aware two men were occupying the same cubicle. Holmes got the police to carry out "a survey" over the next four weeks. Rumour circulated of a yellow van with mirrored windows parked near the gay cruising area after twenty men were "spoken to and one... reported to the Procurator Fiscal." The Dumfries & Galloway Standard gushed with emotion: "Castledykes is described as one of the most picturesque parks in south west Scotland because of its children's adventure playground..." Then, police swooped on gay men at Prestwick Beach. One man spent the night in police cells and was led handcuffed to court. According to the Helensburgh Advertiser, police launched a "five day operation" in response to "complaints" from "worried parents" and rounded up 17 men. Inevitably, there was a real victim, lost in the text of the story: "24 hours after his arrest, one of the men, Balloch farmer William Rennie, was found dead in a loch." He was 57. As a result, more gay and bisexual men, isolated in areas of virulent heterosexism have now been made aware of places where gay men meet at "Helensburgh's Kidston Park... toilets near Duck Bay Marina and... East End public toilets in Balloch." With more swoops, the local paper was gleefully reporting 40 arrests! Welcome back to the fifties. Do you remember the days when gays thought twice about approaching the police? "You shamed our boys, you shamed our club," bawled the Scottish Sun on a "gay video lawyer..." who did just that. For some obscure reason, after "balding bachelor Danskin - who lives with his mum" had the audacity to watch an erotic gay film being made in his office, he was "booted out as a Boys' Brigade leader and told to quit as chairman of (East Fife) soccer club." It was open day for the sexually repressed tabloids. The Scottish Sun quoted a "dad" who "immediately" stopped his son going to the Boys' Brigade saying, "I just don't trust Mr Danskin at all now. He can no longer be trusted with children." (The poor wean was 15, by the way)! The Daily Record pictured peroxide mum - one of the many who had "queued up to condemn Julian Danskin" - hugging her son, and went on to berate the Law Society which "refused to take action." A young man, just back from Benidorm revealed to the Daily Record the true extent of Julian's 'perverted' interest in children. It made sickening reading: "He told how the bachelor wakened boys on camps by tickling their toes." The lad claimed: "Every morning he would walk into a room and shout - 'Get up.'" And worse: "The youngster also said Danskin demanded a breath test on boys as a way of checking if they had been drinking. 'If you were over the limit he grounded you.'" Truly, the mark of a crazed sleazeball, and to cap it all: "...His favourite phrase when he was annoyed was to call you a 'friggin' prat'." Others felt sufficiently "uneasy" about his disgusting behaviour that they either left or were withdrawn by parents from the Boys' Brigade. HELLO? What everyone seems to have forgotten - including the judge - was that this was about a man who had been blackmailed by two thugs who stole the video from his office. More shocking was High Court judge, John Wheatley's prejudiced remarks: "Even on the most charitable view, there is something very unsatisfactory and unwholesome about Mr Danskin which lies at the heart of this case." And, to the two men convicted of blackmailing Julian: "It is possible you have very little regard and respect for a solicitor who involves himself in the making of this type of video tape and purports to hide behind the pretence of professional confidentiality." In actual fact, Julian wanted to protect the identity of the two guys in the erotic video. The Daily Record thought this an appropriate moment to share a joke from a local barman: "The wisecrack has Danskin discussing which video to rent for a quiet night in. His mother says, 'Why don't we get Aladdin?' and Danskin replies, 'For goodness sake mother, I'm in enough trouble already.'" Following reports from a spokesman for Fife police the Daily Record suggested "disgraced Danskin also faces a police investigation over his part in the making of the sleazy video." Oh, no! Not another Bolton Seven! The Daily Record called it "a kind of justice" and asked: "Have YOU seen Julian Danskin? If so, call the Daily Record immediately on 0141-242 3252." Get out your Doris Day records. This is the Scottish Media Monitor's 'fifties' issue! -------------------------------------- To celebrate this nostalgic mood, leafing through a copy of The Daily Express Home Management Book by Margaret Garth of the Edinburgh School of Domestic Engineering, the Scottish Daily Express found "innocent times." When they "could publish a front-page advert reading 'Camp Coffee is simply made for men' without anyone sniggering... Days when gay meant happy and camp was for boy scouts." So the hysteria goes on. Teachers are advised not to rub sunscreen into pupils and the Daily Record reported mum, Margaret Ross slashing her two children with a Stanley knife, scarring them for life, believing them "better off dead than living in a world full of child-sex abusers." The offence occurred "just hours after watching... Nightmare on Elm Street." You can swallow that if you like. How about Nightmare on Anderston Quay? Is it not the Daily Record that has contributed through the repression of all things sexual to sex pathology, crime and vigilantism in Scotland? The Daily Record wanted to point out to men the harmful effects of smoking. An illustration of a naked man must have caused a bit of a stir having to indicate a certain area that can be affected by a drop in the sperm count. Under the heading "penis" the arrow pointed to a big green blob and spared any of us any embarrassment. Simon Gage and what he achieved, as editor of Boyz was something of a phenomenon in journalistic terms. Now The Express have made him deputy show-business editor. (Deputy Showgirl, she tells me. Sends his regards, by the way)! But why not make him editor of its sister paper, The Star? Imagine it. The Star: a liberal tabloid, no longer treating its readers like half-wits and sexual prudes. Bet Uncle Percy - The Daily Star in Scotland's agony uncle - will be the first to feel the tip of our Sime's ten-holed Dr Martin's! Uncle Percy makes the Daily Record's Old Mother Burnie look like she knows what she's talking about! "I'm in deep doo-doo, Uncle Percy. Can you recommend a cure for Aids?" This is signed: "Julian Fist, Pansy Cottage, Sodham." This journalist - although the word 'wanker' immediately springs to mind - replies: "You must eat prunes, Julian. Prunes, prunes, prunes. Eat them for breakfast. Eat them for lunch. Eat them for dinner. Eat nothing else. They won't cure you of Aids, but they'll sure teach you what your back passage is meant to be used for." I also advise against talking out of it, Uncle Percy. -------------------------------------- After her attempted suicide, Lorna Frame in the Daily Record decided Paula Yates' "life of risk and danger (had) finally caught up on her," adding that her "sexual history is decidedly distasteful. She boasted that she had oral sex with Bob Geldorf in the back of a taxi" and, as if she were likely to have dropped it all for a mock Tudor semi in Newton Mearns, added smugly "she was never going to live a stable, suburban life." Our Daniela (This Life) "Nude-Ini" was admonished for being a "pawn in a highly competitive ratings war." She bared her tits in the first episode of Big Women and the Sunday Mail was not amused! "There are scenes of nudity in the opening episode of this so-called feminist drama that would make Emperor Caligula blush..." it sniffed. "Stephie walks out of her house naked - abandoing (sic) her children - to become a lesbian... Restraint has gone out of the window." Of The Tribe on BBC 2, "their publicity bumph dubbed it a 'dark and erotic film' - a convenient metaphor for soft porn." The Sunday Mail dragged a frail Mary Whitehouse out of retirement and tried to convince us that "at 88, she is still as active as ever in her chosen role as a TV obscenity watchdog." But the old boiler just mumbled something about: "If I had to choose between tennis... and drama, I'd choose tennis." But for sex-repression, Scottish editions of the News of the World are out to outdo its rivals, announcing: "Zoo dirty perverts!" (Geddit?) Alongside a picture of "family fun..." (Kiddies being lifted up by their parents to see the animals at Edinburgh Zoo). Readers are warned "fiends shoot filth next to kiddies... under the noses of innocent bairns" Whilst filming one of Curran and McDowall's 'Sex in Public Places' erotic videos, they "shamelessly" used an ice cream van at Edinburgh zoo "as the backdrop for the tawdry tape... Members of the public (are) unaware their faces are now familiar to perverts throughout Europe." (That must apply to the majority of News of the World readers who no doubt have seen and enjoyed an erotic video or two in the time). The News of the World staged the usual line-up! You could smell the roses growing up around the cottage door of Tory councillor, Moira Knox who opined: "Appalling... Absolutely disgraceful. To think that this has been done in the same place where those lovely little smiling faces see the penguins walk." Sexfinder General Father Tom Connelly growled: "Outrageous... From what I have been told it is clearly absolutely shocking." And Amanda Alabaster, zoo spokesman (sic) added: "I am distressed and shocked." Oh, get a grip, woman! It's not hard to see who the tabloid's greatest allies are in the repression of sex. It is, of course, the Church. "Sin!" Frothed the Sunday Mail with religious fervour over the making of a new game show starring Julian Clary. In a "sordid expose" they admonished "TV's latest seedy attempt to win the ratings war with a sinful, sex-and-sand game show" which they claimed went "to the very edge of decency and suggestiveness." And worse was to come! "One of the contestants in Prickly Heat is former Glasgow hooker Yvonne Hay... During the day she played rude games like slipping grapes into other contestants' cossies... and squeezing out the juice. Or, even more disgustingly, running a relay that meant stuffing lard into the others' bikini bottoms... It begs the question how TV's controls could be so lax as to allow vice girls to participate. Or indeed, why anyone should fail to see that a seedy show like this will attract professional sex girls." (I love it! Isn't this tabloid a scream)? Making a real arse of itself, the Sunday Mail went on to declare Julian's programme had finally pushed TV over the edge. Scottish editions of The News of the World tightened the collar of restraint to shake their fists from Murdoch's pulpit in Kinning Park, bellowing: "We get filthy porn magazines taken off shelves... Children have been exposed... Now - after action by your campaigning News of the World - the filth has been banned from the shelves. Disturbingly, the explicit sex mags were in the Sauchiehall Street branch of Alldays, the national convenience store chain used by families." I had to pinch myself. Had I picked up The War Cry by mistake? "In an attempt to comply with decency laws, some parts of the male and female anatomies had been inked over with a black marker pen. But a number of pages had been completely missed." Instead of laughing off such utter tripe, Alldays are "holding an inquiry" and Strathclyde police "will be looking into the matter." This begs the question: Just what is the media's problem? The Daily Record's resident queerbasher-in-a-dickey-bow, Tom Brown thinks he knows. "Half the world's troubles" are "caused by sex." -------------------------------------- Get the full Monitor! Visit the Scottish Media Monitor web-site: - http://www.bigfoot.com/~scotmedia (c) Garry Otton 1998 --------------------------------------------------------------------- GRANNY SPICE ============ Greetings from Holland! Well at least the sun is shining here! After cleansing out my sin in a steamy Thermos sauna on Raamstraat (think of the alliteration girls RAAM!) - cleaned out my dental dam and massaged my gums and arse with Bongela, I've retired to the gentle dunes of Zandvoort, not for the motor racing but the pursuit of nookie and frolics in the sand. Condoms and the obligatory KY packed in my picnic basket I set off to explore the dunes! My beach towel wrapped de rigeur as a sarong and headtowel suitably draped to protect your mother from the sun's burning rays, I hardly marched 100 metres into the scrub and dunes before being accosted by a dishy hunk who turned out to be not Dutch but Latvian called Mirko - the chat was minimalist (as were his briefs), ooh - thank God for the collapse of Eastern European Communism! We exchanged everything except body fluids and my pussy was throbbing as I bid him good byee and headed further into the brush... needless to say my address Database on my little hand-held computer continued to grow and grow as new records were added this afternoon! At one point a dear little dutchman pointed out the unused war bunkers and said the Germanic architecture reminded one of a TANK - (I thought immediately of course of dear Dawn Davenport - and how closely she resembled these edifices!) in fact Dawn dearest I couldn't make up my mind whether Henry Moore's figures or these bulky concrete bunkers were a better representation of your dearself! I hurried back to town on the fast train to Amsterdam - only a commuting distance really to the beach - and douched the pussy and prepared the face for Amsterdam's exotic nightlife! Firstly with the Wean in hand alighted at Cafe April, simply the place to be seen in Amsterdam! Early evening and the bar was already busy, very upmarket and slightly less pretentious than the Polo Lounge, the doormen here being less discriminatory at the sight of a frock, and definitely better educated/mannered and personable, being most welcoming to TV's who didn't have to grovel to gain entry! How nice to meet doormen who just do their job for a change, rather than those in that Glasgow establishment who seem to set themselves up as the arbiters of good taste - which I have always found amusing since most of them behave as if they were dragged up in some housing scheme! I've watched Gay establishments come and go for many years, including some of the most successful in economic terms, however, the surest thing to kill any Gay venue is for employers to engage "power freaks" who treat the Gay community like shit and clearly favour only their shitty arse crawling favourites! Gay men and women constantly complain to me about being treated badly by staff whose egos are gross and who seem to go crazy when put behind a bar, or on the door of a Poof Palace! You don't have to put up with this crap, nor Ego-trip employees - and of course you can vote with your feet and pink pound! - If you're treated badly complain loudly in the Gay Press, not all magazines are so intimidated by the thought of losing advertising that they won't print your letters! Certainly not this one! Alas, I digress... A pleasant evening was spent in the company various nationalities, Dutch, German, French, Italian, Indonesians et al. How singularly pleasant, English being mostly the common language and well spoken by all. After this we retired to the IT club. A fantastic Disco which puts everything here into the shade, a great mixture of young through middle aged (thank God!) Poseurs, freaky dancers, mad beautiful Dutch boys, Gay, straight and Tri-sexual. The air was heady with "weedy" substances, (not very good for the asthmatic! However, the matter-of-fact approach to everything ensured a grand evening was had by all. Such tolerance and friendliness to all cultures and sexualities is a lesson we could sorely learn here! But then the Dutch have a history of tolerance that goes back centuries and we have much to learn! (Ulster readers please note!) One retired to bed (actually it was three!) - fun and more games and fucked and fagged out quel menage! The next morning we went to the flower market, fantastic blooms (especially those in white trousers selling their wares!) - why is it that men with huge dicks like to display in tight white denim or cotton? Onwards to the Flea Market in Waterlooplein - a den of mystery varying from good buy antiques to downright Paddie's Market sleaze! Got a nice black coat though, three quarter length swingback a steal at 10 guilders... with label! What was most amusing was the open air sale of PORN videos at knockdown ridiculous prices - as low is ukp2.50 for 3 hours! - not to mention picture books openly showing every variation of sexuality which the locals seemed to ignore completely in favour of heavier tomes! The Dutch are avid readers (in several languages) and can't seem to resist bookstalls of a more serious nature! Check these for handsome intellectual trade! Thereafter retired to a less salubrious establishment "Blue Boys" where everything was on sale and available at a price - all conducted with the best possible taste! As the good journalist would say "services were declined" and we took our leave! We noticed that Pardenstraat in particular was the hunting ground of rentboys - but many of them looked as if they were "Smacked out" in the non punitive sense! - However, if that's your thing it is certainly available A.Y.O.R. A lady in the know informed me that many East European young boys are supplementing their Dutch and English language classes this way! Prostitution is tolerated but not necessarily approved of despite what you might think! But the native Amsterdammer is loud and vocal anyway compared the rest of sedate Holland and frankly doesn't give a fuck! A day trip to the Hague and a cultural tour that made my head spin ended my 3-day visit. Infinitely worth it as ever. The Hague is much more gracious and smaller than Amsterdam - quite snobby really for a Dutch city - but this is certainly also due to the large number of foreigners/Diplomats etc living there. The strong pound makes Holland much less expensive than in previous visits and money stretches further for everything! The Gay scene is less vibrant in the Hague, but I feel friends made here will be remembered and last longer than those encountered in the swirl of Amsterdam. People were "Hezellig" (Cosy/friendly/Open)... a good word to remember. Next morning back to Schipol for the flight back to Glasgow. Had Interesting encounter with an airport uniformed porter (in a Staff Loo), which ensured my "ring" was warmed for its seat on the plane back to Glasgow (Oh those men in uniform - any bloody uniform!). The Trolley Dollies on the plane looked like Lady Hamilton and Des from the Court Bar - the Wean was convinced that these two must be moonlighting! Same frocks, makeup etc., dead ringers really girls! Touchdown Glasgow and ripoff cab back to town - I knew we were home! When is this country going to learn how to really welcome the tourist? We were in the company of 2 Germans who shared our taxi. The conversation took place mostly in German and obviously the driver assumed we were all "Johnny Foreigner" ... Our German friends graciously offered to pay for the taxi as we were putting them up for the night - but what a disappointment to discover they had been ripped off when they brought their bags up to the apartment! Welcome Home Granny... Gordon's off to York for a taste of the Far East - I' ll explain that one in the next issue - something to do with chickens and lemon grass...... I'm now firmly ensconced in Edinburgh and travelling to Glasgow only to work - To those of you out here chasing the sun (anyone's SON!) have nice holidays! Love and Safe Fucks, Beti, Granny Spice --------------------------------------------------------------------- BUMP YER GUMS! ============== Good After-Pride Glow To all my boyz & girlz & thanks for all the letters of praise, concern, abuse, general bitch, scribble or whatever. To each & everyone of you who took the time, it was fun to say the least to read through some of your more unprintable thoughts. Within these walls (no dig there Barby Boy) & columns I shall reveal just how mad & crazy you are & how unstable a few of you are & how very much alike you are with regards to the depraved things you would like to do to & with me "dream on" is what Missy says!! It is nice to know that other things were taking place while Pride was going through it's hectic motions including a pre-post Pride event in Miss Hutton's Mansion. A blow by blow account of Gay Glasgow & it's naughty going ON's. But first shame came to The Poo in the shape of the so called "trannie" Dana International. How dare she cancel her 25 minute appointment, she will live to regret that because I had bought a new blouse & had brought my good girl Lady Lucy all the way from Edinbugger to watch her mime. After all no one can mime like a drag queen on a full charge. Well done my dear on fucking up your promising, fast disappearing reputation with Missy. I for one won't be going to see you at Auntie B's. I'm sure she will be forgotten by then. So onto who would like to, who dreams of it, who thinks about it & the one who boasts to have done it? To Craig from Dunoon, you my darling going by your lovely pose can do it to me any time you think you are man enough as well as Frank from Paisley (no pic to prove it though),& as well as Pat from Anniesland (sounds like fairyland). To all the dreamers John, Stephen, Stick, Davie & Hugh Miss Dawn says to you all, thanks & dream on & on & on..... Having said that, Stick if you really are a 9 inch uncut virgin send the picture to prove it. We now come to the thinkers! I love the thought that John from Govan shared with me. All I can print about this one is that it includes a little bit of hose pipe & some irrigation nets!!! My thanks to the girl called Ann from Sighthill, but no thanks not even blind fold & I promise not to print your picture, trust me. To the three boyz from Glasgow called Bobbi, Stu & Vince you can all drink it anytime (when you are legal. Next time send the photos minus the school uniforms. I'm not that way inclined). And so we come to the boaster, Paul. I have to admit that I don't remember doing what you suggest with a human let alone with a puppet because that is what you remind Missy of a great big fat ugly puppet. Even if I had a birth mark where you are suggesting I would have to be pretty desperate to let someone who resembles "Gonzo" caught in a mangle see it. I would rather squat over Hutton with one of her used razors in her mouth & that is something that is more probable than letting a two legged "Bagpuss" anywhere near me!! Thanks to you all for taking the time to write in with your thoughts & fabrications & to "Bagpuss" take a yawn & fall asleep forgetting to wake up of course. To Sadie Frost's & how sad it was to see the "levy man" all pealing, blotchy & still as boring. A person of his age should know how to block out the nasty old sun with a factor block resembling his real age. How about one in the regions of 45/50?? It was Sunday night & we were all treated to Mother B. in all her resplendent glory. Glittery & spangly it's wonderful to see her reaching those heights again & the notes. I even didn't mind it when Betty used this ladies' name in joke & jest after all isn't that what we are all about & aren't we supposed to rise above it & allow the public to have their fun & not allow narrow-mindedness or jealousy to spoil what is after all only "Entertainment". So Mother B go ahead & use me in any way you feel (& feel you may) I have no objections to this sort of abuse & to all others the same goes for you, however Betty don't ever be tempted back to the dark side stay on the good side & keep pointing those tits to the stars. To the lovely Angus we must get together at some point in the near future to discuss just exactly where your tattoo starts & where it ends. This man was hot even if he was flashing it in those awful toilets. I must also say hello & thank you to the two dykes that were only too eager to tell me all about what they got up to in the women's tent at Pride. I am glad that they are finally getting the hang of Dental Dams although how do you get them to stay wrapped around your thumb? I see those bloody awful candles are still present at the door. WHY? On the subject of Karen Dunbar did Missy notice a little dig at the lovely Karen in an advert recently for C.C. Blooms 4th birthday bash. It was headlined by the wonderful LoLa Lasagne with Karaoke hosted by none other than Karen Dumber?? Have you had a wee falling out with the boyz & girlz at Blooms or is it that you have reached that stage in your career where yet another name change is in order?? Drop me a line & let Miss Dawn know. The Big Yellow Barn is next & we were "treated" to the sounds of Tom. His music is nearly as bad as the tone of Fishpaw's voice when he gets a hold of a mike, but more on her later. Tom why do you insist on talking utter nonsense while the music plays? Miss Dawn doesn't like the music, but she does like the boyz. Especially the two twins, Shane & Kevin whom I met up with the other night. These two boyz are hung like donkeys & do you know that even their dicks are the same size (our Ed. agrees). The Barn was as always full of posers with rented accommodation & car. Suggesting to anyone gullible enough to listen that they are in advertising. What that means when you read between the lines is one of three things: 1. They sell the Big Issue. 2. They sell newspapers in the train station. 3. They work at the local newsagents & they are car watching while the boss is on holiday. You choose which one is to be believed. However, there is one driving around in a yellow one right now! Sunday afternoon & it is time for "Francine's Fool Hoose" down at the Waterloo. Now you have to understand I'm not a fan of the fish, however getting the chance to goggle at sidekick Myrtle (sorry for getting the name wrong. The boss gave me 100 lines (of something illegal) & made me stand in the corner) is worth having to listen to that awful screech of Fishpaw. You know the rules boyz, look where we boyz are supposed to look!! I have noticed a thank you letter from the committee of The Rainbow Fund & to date with regards to the "fool hoose", badge sales & donation cans the punters have raised over ukp524.00. It just brings tears to this old bird's eye. (The other one is a fake). At least they are keeping us up to date about how much is raised & we are not left to work it out for ourselves or better still make up a story or four as to who gets what (pity). They have set an example & others should take a lesson from them. It is a shame some of those stories that I am forced to listen to might actually be true!! As if I would believe any of them, however questions do spring to mind? And on the subject of things springing to mind, has anyone noticed how sexy looking the lovely "Tilly" is these days. I watched in amazement as she swept into The Trophy Room the other Saturday all white & glittery. She looked as if she had been put through a mangle & hung out to wrinkle. For Tilly that is her at her best. She reminds Miss Dawn of a younger Hutton & although my only memory of Hutton in her younger days was bumping into her at Shepherd's Bush tube station looking all white & glittery....... I met this very unusual boy in The Poo on the same night in question who goes by the name of Sven. This boy is double jointed & the things he got up to with Glasgow's only two legged sanitary bin, Miss Hutton was shocking. I was treated to what Hutton can do with two socks, a sar beni & a bottle of brown sauce. It was also an interesting thought when Sven picked up a certain barboy who assures everybody daft enough to listen that he is very much off scene, happy (do your snooping in The Barn) & vegetarian. The thought being I know what they put in a sar beni!! (what do you mean Ed. You don't know what a sar beni is?) Who wouldn't love to be a fly on the wall that night. And talking of Hutton. If you were lucky enough not to miss the Divine Miss Hutton's invite to her pre-post pride event then you like myself would have wound up at Bride Street Mansions with "sherry" & duster in hand for what had to be THE event of the day/night. Now I am not saying that Hutty (to the few) (that's the ones she doesn't owe money to) isn't house proud, but more time is spent on any one session on that mug of hers than on the actual cleaning of the mansion. One thing in her favour is the fact that her fridge is immaculate. Gin on the top shelf & pils on the second, third & fourth. They were all there: Ina de Camp. I never noticed her bringing in a sherry bottle, but downing some of Hutton's best port. Then of course we had our array of hangers on the lovely Cilla & her old figure, Dreamgirl Mary (still doing her own make up), Lady Hamilton (with the same fox-stole), Madame Harrow (sorry Harlow), Miss Brenda (I give free head) & Miss Maximum Self Esteem herself Teena to name drop only a few. Highlight of the night when Hutton suggested we play Twister? Lowlight came when Hutton appeared in an off the shoulder "Oscar De La What Every Woman Wants" number in a lovely shade of Burnt Orange with matching Sling Fronts. Screaming to all who were young & lucky enough to still have hearing that the Gin was finished & therefore the party was. So it was all out & into The Yellow Barn in time for the start of the happy hour and as for Betty? Well the last I saw of her was as she slipped out of the door with yet another postman on her arm & her hand in his pocket & you can bet it wasn't cafe Lettuce they were off to!! Next Month we may have an update on the London scene for anyone who might be going there for a wee holiday I shall see how the petrol money goes. One more thing Miss Dawn has to say & it goes like this: If anyone has a view, opinion, bitch, general moan, has something to get off their shoulder about me & or this column then Missy is more than happy to accept your continued letters after all as I have said one more than one occasion the public (YOU) have the right to know how well a pub/club or event is doing & if there is a bit of scandal attached then all the better. The information, gossip or whatever contained within these columns comes from you, the public. I listen remember & then write it down, Can anyone tell me what is so wrong with that? After all if you who were only to happy to open their mouths then there would be a lot of people looking for other jobs. Until the next time my dears, remember stay aware & keep those mouths yapping just long enough for Miss Davenport to extract what she needs. It is after all only a way of passing time & bringing joy to others. I am just glad so many people take notice of what I write. See you all when I return from London. Dawn x x x ---------------------------------------------------------------------- GLASCHU ======= The Real and Genuine and One and Only True Goldilocks! Well, here we go again, time for yet another riveting instalment of my world-famous pile of monthly shite, cobbled up from all the rumours, stories and usual waffle that comes my way during yet another month out on the razzle, partying, boozing, clubbing, searching for Mr. Right, while still keeping in touch with all the movers and shakers to dig up all the guff that makes up Glasgow's most popular Scene news. There's been a few interesting rumours doing the rounds over the last month. Most of them were about a new King City Leisure club opening and were the usual predictable shire from the usual arseholes claiming to be "in the know". It will be opening, it won't be opening, it's B.O.M., it's the Hatt Club, it's the old Fruitmarket, it's the Fire Station, it's the old Club X etc.. Blah, Blah! Well, at the time of writing, I don't know any more than you lot, so your guess is as good as mine! Anyway, wherever it is, and whatever it is, here's hoping that the service is a bit better than some of the other K.C.L. outlets we could all care to mention. Oh, and could we please have less of the stupid rumours about it being miles from the Gay Ghetto, as the scene has already shown that they're too bloody lazy to walk more than a few yards out of Merchant City, and some of the venues being suggested would be a total disaster! Another daft story doing the rounds is that the piccy adorning this column isn't actually really ME! Of course it bloody is - instantly recognised throughout the scene despite my hair being a lot shorter then, although you couldn't miss THAT jacket anywhere! I'd love to know who the sad tossers are that come up with this shite! And while we're on the subject of my identity (which everybody knows anyway), I'd also like to point out that I am NOT Dawn Davenport, 'cos I've been getting the blame for some of the stuff she's written! It would appear that a man with a big camera has been putting the story round that I am in fact two columnists! Just as well that lens isn't like Pinocchio's nose or he'd need a bloody tripod to support it! Now then, the big story this month was, of course, the new regime at the G.G.L.C. After months of complaints of too much empire-building, too many chiefs, not enough Indians, volunteers being treated like shit and not enough being done to promote the Centre, a major change was made to the management Committee recently. Complaints about the state of the building, and the decreasing numbers using it are already being addressed. A programme of repairs and decoration has now started and attempts are being made to let the unit which is currently being used as an office. Hopefully the subject of rent levels will be looked into, 'cos you can rent a whole bloody shop in the Savoy Centre for less than the cost of a unit at the G.G.L.C. The appalling state of the bogs has also been tackled, as this was a regular cause for complaint, resulting in the moronic actions of a few arseholes making it necessary to keep the cottage under lock and key! Anyway, they're looking dead smart now, after a lick of paint, new tiled walls and new lino, and seeing as how the Centre was getting pissed off with all the graffiti, they've decided to install blackboards so all you cottagers can scribble away to your hearts' content! Just as well really. 'Cos Gerry says that if anybody messes up his nice clean walls, he'll "kick their cunt in!" Always did have a way with words did Gerry! If you've got some spare time on your hands, the Centre is looking for volunteers to help with their newsletter, manning the desk etc. - drop in post or phone for details. They'll even cover you for the cost of a cup of tea and a rock cake, now that Martha's discovered SELF-RAISING flour! There's been big changes in the cafe-bar too. After months of legal wrangling, the previous tenants have been turfed out, and well-known scene mover and shaker Martha, who you'll all remember from Gillespie's, has taken over the show, assisted by Kelly, the new lady in her life, Gerry who you'll also remember from Madge's and Astra Gifts, and Willy who seems to have got landed with all the humphing 'cos he's so butch (till he opens his mouth and starts shrieking his tits off!). The drinks license has already been transferred, and the cafe seems to have got off to a promising start with a few functions booked already. There's a good selection of grub for us veggies and you carnivorous lot and even if you're only in for a cup of tea and a biccy, you'll be made more than welcome. And there shouldn't be any complaints about the lousy service either, which had been the case in the past. Martha's one of us "old school" bunch who learned the trade back in the good old days when the customer actually mattered, and all these modern-day food and beverage wankers with all their ATTITUDE and shit-awful standards of service were still in their prams. You've no excuse for not supporting the Centre and the cafe-bar now - everything's changed, new people, new ideas and all suggestions and offers of help gratefully received. I had speaks with Bunny from the Hellfire Club a few days ago, and he was telling me that their next Glasgow party will be on Friday the 4th of September in the G.G.L.C. For those of you who've never heard of the Hellfire Club, it's a fetish night for people of all sexual persuasions, irrespective of gender or sexuality. Unfortunately, some of the regular customers over at the Poo (their previous venue) seemed to regard the night as some sort of freak show, and made various attempts to gatecrash the Trophy Room, despite the various efforts of the PooStewards. Shame on you people! You moan like fuck when the breeders come in to gay clubs "just for a laugh" so you know what it feels like! Anyway, the Hellfire Club will be taking over the whole G.G.L.C. and the dress code will be strictly enforces so if you're a nosy cunt that doesn't belong there, DON'T BOTHER! If you want to join in the party, see the ad in this issue for details, or call Bunny on 01698 811505. Now then, for those of you who like your beer strong, cloudy and with bits of assorted vegetation still floating in it (actually, that's real cider, not ale yer daft wazzock! - copykeyer), you might be interested to know about the Glasgow Gay Real Ale Group. Head Guzzler is a very nice chappie called Ken Murray, who tells me that the group has been going got four months now and their meetings, which are held on the 1st Wednesday of the month at the Old Printworks in North Frederick Street at 9pm regularly attract a good few Real Ale fans. All newcomers will be made most welcome, and I expect the group will also appeal to the rare lesbians who I know are into proper beer. I'd always thought that Real Ale drinkers were a bunch of hippies with beards who wore cardigans and open-toed sandals, but my editor, who's also into Real Ale (with a body to match) assures me the group appeals to all ages and backgrounds. So if you fancy a pint of Snarly's Old Knobblaster, give Ken a phone on 0141-427 4764 to arrange to go to their next meeting, or see their website details in the listings. Anybody see that bit on So Graham Norton where only one of the studio audience had shagged over 50 people? Imagine if that had been an audience of benders - the whole lot of them would have been standing! It's scary when you work out your own track record. Even only one bit of trade a month over a period of fifty years works out at 600 shags! Next time you think you're not getting enough nookie, just imagine how the breeders are feeling! The Lane continues to go from strength to strength now that Bob's been persuaded to take out an advert in ScotsGay, no doubt helped along by that nice bit of trade on the front desk. Long-haired bit of rough with a ton of crap jewellery - sound familiar to anybody? The steam room is now under construction and should be finished soon. Also, Bob's found the key to his purse, and will shortly be starting a major expansion, adding more private cabins, another chill-out room, and a second video lounge. This should about double the size of the venue, and there are other big things in the pipeline which I'll keep you up to date on. Anyway, if you've never been down before, give us a try, and you can tell all your mates you've actually met yours truly in person and that I really DO exist, despite what some sad twats would have you believe! Right then, that's all the main stuff covered for this month so, as usual, I'll finish off with the bits of gossip that's come my way over the past few months. Big Derek, the ex-manager of Centurion is now back behind the bar at Austin's, no doubt giving the punters a quick dose of wimoweh in-between pouring pints. Anybody wanting to get any of their bits pierced should check out the Paradise Piercing Studio in Dixon Street, just next door to the G.G.L.C. I fancy getting my knob done, but don't fancy the idea of two weeks without a decent blow-job while it heals up! (I'll bet the small Ginger One edits that out as it lowers the tone of the magazine!) Had an interesting conversation with the other Bald Ginger One - John, the manager of Penelope's, who was telling me that, in his opinion, the further up their own arses that some clubs are with all this IMAGE and ATTITUDE shit, the worse the service gets. Absolutely spot on, and we know who the worst culprits are! Anybody else see that bit in the papers recently, claiming that hairy people are cleverer than all you slapheads? Seems that us hirsute lot are not only a better shag, but have brains too! That should stop you lot taking the piss out of us Xena - Warrior Princess lookalikes. The date given last issue for Penelope's Bent Birthday Bash was wrong and is, in fact, the 25th of August. I can confirm that Kelly Marie has been booked to appear, and there will be special guest DJs on the night including Stella. DJ Colin has slotted nicely into the Tuesday night position left vacant by DJ Boff who's currently not working the club circuit due to work commitments. I see Ms. Fishpan's managed to get a donation out of the News of the World for The Rainbow Fund. Nice little addition to the wonga that's been raised from her Sunday afternoon bingo sessions down at the Waterloo. Had my ear bent recently by Colin from Austin's, who wanted you all to know that their Christmas Party was a great success! Any why not? As you know, I generally take the piss out of these sorts of thing, which were all the rage back in the 80s, but if that's what the punters want, then fair enough. How about a toga party, or a Tramps and Tarts night? Haven't been to one of those for over 20 years. And it wasn't me that wrote about the Austin's crew and their fake suntans - that's the elusive Ms. Davenport getting ME in the shit again! Well, I think that's this month's Magnum Opus ready for the Small Bald Ginger One (Oi! Goldilocks - the person who has to translate your scrawl is actually a Large, Busty, Black-Haired One), so I'd better bugger off and do some proper work (I'm sitting in The Lane writing this, so I hope you lot appreciate it). Anyway, as usual, moans, gossip, requests for PAs etc. to all the contact details at the back of the mag. Buy me a drink sometime. Minerva minerva@drink.demon.co.uk ----------------------------------------------------------------------- DUN EIDEANN =========== Oh Lord, thanks for conceiving the Edinburgh Festival! The capital, during the month of August, splits at the seems with gorgeous babes of all genders and sexuality's. The gay scene goes crazy. Ridiculously busy has been The New Town Bar which has a late festival alcohol licence - now open until 3am. It's a great place with a well stocked, reasonably priced bar, and a smiley cute manager called Phil. If you haven't been on the scene a while, you'll know Phil from the now defunct leather bar Chapps. We printed his dolly old eek in the last issue and never said who he was - so now you know. Ask to see the old Chapps party pix... And bless my soul if The French Connection hasn't been busy lately too! With what must be the friendliest customers in Edinburgh and a wonderful collection of 70's and 80's classic pop, it's were to go when you're done being pretentious and arty, and you just wanna have fun. Mother Babs, owner of Edinburgh's oldest established gay bar, is also boasting a 3am late license. She says that dodgy costumes are optional on Sunday 30th August when Frenchies host a treasure trail for Milestone House. It kicks of at 4pm from the bar and they'll be karaoke in the evening. Then to end the festival, Paulette Dubois hosts her own complete show, with special guest Lady Samantha... that's on Saturday 5th September and it's free entry so I'll see you there... Everywhere on the scene this month are the boys from Gay Men's Health. They tell me that if you call 0131-558 9444 and become a GMH volunteer you'll get a discount card where you can get as much as 40% off in gay bars, shops, cafes, and saunas in Edinburgh. Chat one of the boys up, or see the freebie mag SPURT! For more details. Oh, and don't talk to the Evening News or the Daily Mail. The Stag and Turret is blazing from strength to strength and is particularly popular with one ScotsDyke that we're all fond of. Under new(ish) management the place is performing nicely and it is well worth checking out. Their Cocktail Party on Friday 28th August is a must attend event. My girlfriends say that Divine Divas is the best women only night in Edinburgh ever! Held at The Venue from 10pm till 3am, it's a modest ukp5(ukp3) to get in and all proceeds go to Lothian Gay and Lesbian Switchboard. Check it out on Friday 21st August, and Friday 4th September. Now... hands up who-ever went to the Masked Ball at Permission on Sunday 9th August! I wasn't there but I know a (married) couple that was. Check out the venues page elsewhere in this organ for details of where to find out about the next one... Or if you want some real torture you might want to try getting hold of a drink at CC Blooms on the weekends of the festival. Everything's fine 'till about midnight and then you might as well forget it. You're better off in Route 66 until it shuts - then scamper up to CC's at the last minute if you haven't pulled yet and are already pished... Have I missed out anywhere? Oh yes, Cafe Kudos... but then so does everybody else! (Bitch!) (Really? It always looks busy enough to me. Ed) See you again soon. Fax, phone, write or e-mail me with comments and stuff. Enjoy star spotting, and if you see Scott Capurro out on the scene then his arse is mine. Martin Walker martin@drink.demon.co.uk ---------------------------------------------------------------------- DUN-DEAGH ========= Bit busier on the scene this month in general; Monday quiz night and Tuesday bingo night are pulling more into Bar Xs. Wednesday karaoke in Devas is the main early evening entertainment, but Xs is now getting its fair share. Rumours of students' nights planned for Thursdays next term in Liberty rounds off the mid-week entertainment. The melodic mixing of DJ 'BP' continues to attract interest from gays and straights alike and I have heard a couple of groans about the numbers of straights at Liberty. Some of us are guilty of trying to bring in ten straight friends according to the management and they do try to get a happy balance. Liberty Nightclub's female DJ Pat will be hosting another 70s, 80s and 90s night on the last Friday of this month. It was very popular the last two times - so get along early. Happy was not the description for the lovers' tiff between Andy and Steve at Libs recently. We all saw it coming but the duo were unceremoniously punted by La Liberty who appeared to have had lessons from La Deva - we hope not! When people break up in a relationship they seem to feel that everyone should be involved and that the animosity should continue for longer than the relationship - fuckin' grow up! Relationships are, however, the name of the game in Dundee this holiday season and rumours of a triple wedding are rippling through the scene with Fonda Balls movin' in her loon fae Aberdeen, Di and Ally linked at the tonsils and of course, our very own Brenda still claiming child benefit for you know whoooo! In a very public manner came a vile offer to purchase Liberty Nightclub Co. Ltd. but I hear from a friend in Edinburgh that the vile man had found the Local Conservatives were unable to fund this little adventure. When contacted by us, a spokesperson grumpily advised that the premises were not on the market and to ignore the Dreamer. So we all breathed a sigh of relief - you bet! Because not enough gays are going down with HIV and AIDS, it appears our local Health Authority are cutting back even further on expenditure for the Harm Reduction Centre. With a supposed half million quid given by the Scottish Office not being passed on to the centre when it is supposed to be "ring-fenced" ie. not used for other things, the workers are pissed off. They appear to be voting with their feet and we now have lost Messrs Bullock and more recently Rodgers, leaving the only known gay person on the safe sex team as Chris - whose qualifications are somewhat unknown to us. Will the scene meekly allow our services to diminish in stature and quality from its former highly regarded position within the UK? A great many people, not just gays, are having unsafe sex in our area - an ongoing safe sex message is required. The local switchboard have asked its reader for comments on the snoozeletter which it publishes (photocopies) with such gay abandon. Its name - Queerier - reinforces homophobia and many find that offensive; particularly as it is supposedly available in so many straight venues. The Fanny Club (sorry Fantasy) has opened above Liberty in the old Casino and some had expressed concern about the number of straight men who may frequent the area. Whilst in its early days, nobody has yet scored with a love deprived chicken from the table dancing club - but many live in hope! See you soon in the City of Discovergay! Liquid Silk --------------------------------------------------------------------- INBHIR NIS ========== Hi there, yes - me again. I'll try not to waffle on too long in order that more pictures of all you handsome devils and devilesses can be included. There's still nothing official about us frequenting the Station Hotel yet; however, you may say nothing official is needed as we all know that we're already frequenting the place and are very welcome as well. Received another e-mail from America recently; another chap from abroad, hoping to come and visit and to meet local gays. He has previously been here but hasn't "met" the scene. No doubt we'll soon change that! Nice to see oor own wee Gusset settled back into his regular "slot". Amused to read that I've been a "dear" recently - so much so that the good Dr & Matron had nothing "risque" to say about me in their last column. Not often that pair are stuck for words! I agree it can be better with two; however, why stop there, with three and four it's even more! Anyway enjoy the photos of yer birthday party - kissies to you all! Calmac calmac@drink.demon.co.uk ------------------------------------------------------------------- MOIREIBH ======== Hello, everybody! Hope you're having a wild summer wherever you might be. Here in the North we're partying like the millennium had arrived early. Let's start this article with a question. Is there anybody still alive in Inverness? We ask because there has been no sign or contact since the Highland Youth Gay Disco last month and, despite requests for reservations for our big summer party at Rothes Glen, no-one from that neck of the woods materialized for the event, excepting a couple of our Social Group members. It just seems a little strange that there seems to be such a lack of support for our events when we always make the effort to attend whatever is happening in Inverness. Perhaps someone can enlighten us as to what the situation really is in the so called 'Gateway to the Highlands'. Anyway, with a helping hand (?!) from Charlie Chicken, here's the promised report on the Rothes Glen Fancy Dress Summer Ball : The guests started trickling in from 2pm onwards for the start of the festivities, which included an afternoon drinks party and barbecue on the patio. Two formally attired officials, Malcolm and Andrew, were on hand to greet the masses, along with a bowl of punch, the latter initially appearing to have more appeal than the assorted humans! Participants travelled from Edinburgh, Glasgow, Stirling, the West Coast and various local towns and villages to find out just exactly what goes on outside suburbia, and as the day progressed and everyone became more relaxed the party really started to swing! Rothes Glen Hotel is a wonderful venue - like a miniature castle surrounded by hills, woodland and fields of Highland cattle and, on this occasion, full of screaming queens. (The poor cows didn't know what to make of it all - the four-legged ones, that is!) After much drinking and gobbling sausages (remember the barbecue?) most of the guests retired to their rooms to don their party frocks (and to gobble some more sausages!), emerging in time to guzzle their way through the sumptuous banquet prepared by oor Paul and his merry band of camp followers, which included prawns, quiche, pasta with prawns, rice with prawns, vegetables with prawns, prawns with prawns... Fortunately the glorious pavlovas prepared by oor Neil did not contain any prawns! Well done, guyz'n'galz - you did us proud! Then, onward to the dancing. The eightsome reel caused much hilarity as the gin-soaked revellers tried unsuccessfully to maintain a circle, after which things degenerated rapidly! The offer of a pound a strip (for the raffle tickets) had visitors marvelling at how cheap the boyz were here in comparison to the cities! The cabaret featured our very own pinup girls, the Addams Sisiters (a.k.a. Comfortable Shoes), who vamped it up outrageously to the great amusement of all. Sometime in the middle of the night the revelry drew to a temporary halt, although those in the know headed for the Sugar Plumm suite for the commencement of the After-party Party, at which jamboree (where we were all Boy Scouts, dib dib dib!) a tabletop laden with miniature bottles of spirits and a case of lager disappeared as if a swarm of locusts had passed through, and the tone descended from the gutter into the nearest cesspool! A morass of dazed and dizzy queens appeared for breakfast, holding out trembling appendages for coffee and aspirin (or gin and coke), and the usual round of gossip about who slept where, who did what with whom, the state of the economy and the depleted reserves of the National Sperm Bank... Finally, Pride of Moray Firth Social Group are pleased to announce the receipt of a grant from MFR Charities Trust, which will be of great assistance in providing further social benefits for the community in the North East. Many thanks for that. If you're in the area, why not look us up? See ya! MorayBitch@bigfoot.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- OBAIR DHEADHAIN =============== Well, that's me one year closer to getting my concession card. Granted, it's still going to be a good few decades before I actually qualify, but as I am currently sitting here in post-weekend recovery mode, my legs are beginning to tell me that I'm not quite as young as I used to be. Either that or that I'm not as fit as I should be. Hmm, go figure. So, how was my weekend? Absolutely awesome. Originally intended to be a "straight" night out, Friday turned out to be rather more alcohol fuelled than I had planned, so much so that I vaguely remember being in Club 2000 and only when I visited Castro on the Saturday afternoon for a hair-of-the-dog "kill-or-cure" pint, I was informed that I was also in there the previous night. Next topic of conversation please! Anyway, I ended up being separated from my friends, and in a vague attempt to meet up with one of them in Cove later on I succeeded in getting lost! And do they have any flamin' phone boxes in Cove? The Saturday evening was rather better, despite a swollen knee gained from a rather embarrassing fall the night before, and for a change I decided once more to spend most of the night in Castro, which was a rather more pleasant environment than C2000, in which I spent a brief fifteen minutes, as I began to feel rather claustrophobic. Back up the road, Jaqui M was playing a brilliant set, and I had one of the best nights out there yet. I have to say, it's nice to see the Aberdeen scene looking so much healthier now. This time last year things were looking a little bit bleak, with the closure of Caberfeidh and the premature failure of Lust@Deniro's. Things seem to have balanced out a bit between the two venues, although with the imminent return of the student population, I don't know if both venues will be able to cope. Could Aberdeen be doing with a third venue? And is anyone brave enough to go and try it? Club 2000 is approaching its first anniversary in November, and Castro will have been around for just over a year longer, so maybe this is a sign of much better things to come? Well, if you're a cynic like me you won't believe it! Sunday night was a wee bit of a departure from the norm, as I found out that Judge Jules was playing in the Ministry. It's not one of my usual haunts, I must admit, but the place was absolutely rocking. I must say that the strict "we'll search everything but your underwear" policy was a wee bit pointless, and also a wee bit embarrassing when you're asked to turn out your pockets. Condoms are okay, but bouncers always look rather bemused when they see the lube! Trying to stop people taking drugs is a futile exercise, really, as they just neck them before they go in. It's most definitely not a gay venue, but I found it intriguing that I got more attention from guys in there than I have in any other place. I was most chuffed when I got talking to this gorgeous lad at the bar who at one point hauled me onto the dance floor and spent most of the night jumping up and down with his arm across my shoulder. And then there was the old "straight" school acquaintance who spent more time giving me wee pecks on the cheek than anything else... Lovely! I'll give the place ten out of ten for talent. Anything else new? Well, Club 2000 now has this fantastic wee machine in the gents, which dispenses not the usual packs of condoms (cos they're free anyway). but other handy things like Anadin, Resolve, Gold Spot, and a handy wee one-night-stand kit complete with razor etc. So now there's no excuse for walking home in the morning with a hangover, breath that could be used as a replacement for chemical warfare, and a face like a Brillo pad! Whoa, I'd better stop now, or I'll end up with more column inches than Minerva. Ahem. Anyway, have a wonderful month, and in the mean time, watch out Edinburgh 'cos I'll be heading your way some time during the Festival. You have been warned! Gus gus@drink.demon.co.uk ---------------------------------------------------------------- SCOTSGAY VOICE PERSONALS ======================== It's completely free to place your ad on 0800 138 4121 We'll print your ad in our next few issues and you can pick up replies on 0891 556613. That's also the number for our Browse Hotline - 0891 556613. Calls to 0891 cost 50p per minute which is half the price charged by some other gay magazines! See magazine for full conditions of service. ScotsGay Voice For 1-2-1 To reply to ScotsGay Voice Ads, phone 0891 556613 (calls charged at 50p per minute) and use the number at the end of the ad. You can leave your own ad FREE on FREEphone 0800 138 4121. Aberdeen 34, good looking. horny, into good clean fun. Must be able to accommodate. Aberdeen only. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 9208. Glasgow Paul, bi, looking to meet somebody special. 26, 5'10", dark hair, grey/green eyes. Not much into the scene. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 9167. Stocky Nigel, 34, short and stocky, blond, blue'grey eyes, muscular looking for younger guy (18-28) who is taller than him. Adventurous and into fun things, travel and socialising. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 9159. 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Edinburgh Bruce, 30, good looking, slim, straight acting skinhead, 5'8", looking for bottoms under 25, any race or colour for indoor fun. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 8788. Theo 33, 5'8", chubby, well endowed, short brown hair, looking for an older man who likes good fun. Can travel and accommodate. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 8755. Fife 31 year old overweight Fife guy looking for 18-30 for fun and friendship. Interests are football, music and going out. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 8742. Tayside Peter, 5'10", early 40's, fit, brown hair, smokey grey eyes. Into most things in life, GSOH, lot of love for whoever is interested in that sort of thing. Love wine, long weekends in and then to bed. Masseur, aromatherapist, photographer and nurse. Looking for 20's to early 40's - non smoker preferred. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 8522. 23 Year Old Edinburgh 5'11", short brown hair, slim build, likes pubs, sport, football and music. Looking for similar 18-27 year old. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 7991. Edinburgh 23 year old, 5'11", into music, pubs, clubs, badminton. Looking for similar 18-26 year old in Edinburgh or Glasgow. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 7280. Leather Trevor, 28. Bi-curious but into leather. Ready to go the full hog with dominant leather man. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 7112. Daddy's Boy? Uncle Andy, 48, is looking for Daddy's Boys 18-35 for no strings fun. Light discipline if required. Anywhere - can travel or accommodate. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 7040. Central Scotland David, 6', 32, blond hair, blue eyes, passive, smooth skinned. Into rubber, leather, waders, etc. Seeks genuine older guy(s) - not overweight - for fun. You won't be disappointed. Phone: 0891 556613 - Number 6691. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- BOXES - THE SCOTSGAY MEET MARKET ================================ To reply to a Contact Ad: By e-mail: We can now accept replies by e-mail for Box Numbers. They should be sent to boxreplies@drink.demon.co.uk and will be printed out and posted on by snail mail to the box number holders. There will be no charge for this service. As box number holders are unlikely to have access to e-mail, please include your name and address so that they can get back to you! And remember to include the box number that you're replying to clearly on each reply. By snail mail: Just pop your reply in an envelope with the box number written in the TOP RIGHT corner and place the envelope with your reply inside another envelope with two loose first class stamps. If you are writing from outside the UK, an International Reply Coupon (IRC) should be enclosed for each reply instead of postage stamps. International Reply Coupons are available from most Post Offices throughout the world. We are unable to send on replies without postage stamps or IRCs. Send all replies to: ScotsGay Magazine, Pageprint Limited, PO Box 666, Edinburgh. EH7 5YW. To place a Contact Ad: Write to the above address enclosing your advertisement copy. Ads are FREE of charge to the advertiser. Or you can send them by e-mail to scotsgay@drink.demon.co.uk Personal Ads in ScotsGay's Meet Market are read by more people than any other Scottish Gay Title! WOMEN Friendship in Aberdeenshire Mid-40s outgoing woman with GSOH wants to meet other lesbians in the area with a view to deep friendship. Box SG23001. MEN Romantic Guy - Edinburgh/Tayside Looking for Mr. Right, I'm professional, discreet, caring, articulate 36 year old; GSOH, rugby build, looking for educated professional who is sincere, 28-38, into the finer things in life - the Arts, wining/dining - more than a one-night-stand - after that first night! Box SG23002. Traveller Seeks Weekend's Rest My work takes me all over the place during the week - are you the reason I come home ? Happy, sorted 28 year old seeks similar to make the rest days worthwhile. Attitude more important than age match, though 25 - 40 would be my preference. Based in the SW of Scotland, I travel out of Glasgow each week so meeting anywhere not a problem. Box SG23003. Aberdeenshire Prof. from US staying/working in Aberdeen area Aug-Dec 1998. Wants to meet guys in Aberdeen area. Likes sports, travel, music, cinema, clubs, staying fit. Box SG23004. Inverurie, Aberdeenshire Bit on the side wanted by married guy late 30's. No strings, just good safe fun. I'm fit, GSOH, smooth. No bears please. Box SG23005. Aberdeen Area 23 year old Oriental boy 5'6", 132#, black hair. Box SG23006. Older Dom Required 44, sub bi male, somewhat overweight, bald clean shaven, lives and works in Edinburgh. Seeks dominant active man 45+ who believes in discipline, possibly retired schoolteacher. ALA, E-mail if possible- paulr_2@hotmail.com. Box SG22007. 26, Fun Ayrshire Lad Hi there, fed up with being single, bored or even stuck in the house, well fear not, I'm hear. I'm a 26 fun loving guy looking for the same (18-30), in to loads of different past-times and going out occasionally on the scene. I'm 5'81/2" in height with fair hair and blue eyes. If ya fancy getting in contact, feel free and drop me a line, photo appreciated and one available on request. Box SG23008. Horny Son in Search of Large Cigar-Smoking Daddy! Boy is: 85 kg, 54, brown hair - No 2 buzz cut, clean shaven, great mouth (I'm told!). Daddy was born around/before 1950 and is described as a stocky bear (possibly overweight), who is stached/bearded and may be balding/skin head. Daddy may have worked or does work as a builder/workman, or as a fire/policeman, or even in the armed forces. Daddy is wise and has knowledge/experience in many areas. This may include: restraints, C/P, masks & hoods, piss, ass play, fisting, TT, forced smoking. Daddy likes to relax by having his boy between his legs servicing his thick tool, whilst Daddy smokes on his large cigar. We all have our fantasy adverts, don't we? Any guys out there who think they can turn my fantasy into reality. Roddy_uk@hotmail.com. Lapping up life in Glasgow/SW Professional, happy, optimistic 28 year old looking for similar to join in the pleasures and stresses. If you're sincere, honest and "sucking the marrow out of life" get in touch. Age and looks much less important than attitude. Box SG23009. Highlands/Islands Friends sought for horny, fun, visits by discreet G/L. S/A, sound, fit, hunky, sporty English lad into off scene, away from it all places/mates. Box SG23010. Tayside Dundee man, 55, passive, S/A seeks someone who sincerely likes older men or guy within same age group who wants a long-term stable friendship and relationship. Can travel/accommodate. Box SG23011. North Lanarkshire William, 29, 5ft 8 in, slim build, dark short hair, hazel eyes, non smoker, looking for someone to treat me nice - fun friendship then more. GSOH, have my own place. If interested, get in touch. Box SG23012. Younger for Older, North/Central Scotland Where are you hiding? Fed up with local scene, late 30's, seeking BND share Highland flat, student or professionals on business?. Summer fun, frolics, fitness, future love? Non-smoker, romantic. Edinburgh-bound, seeking work. Fun friends in Edinburgh area appreciated. Genuine. Box SG23013. Naughty Boy Guy, 30, needs spanked over knee, chair, s/desk with hand, slipper, belt, cane. Trousers, shorts, pants, bare. Your place, Glasgow/Edinburgh. ALA. Box SG23014. Dundee/Tayside 27 year old, 5' 8" tall, good-looking, hairy chest W/E SA/SL seeks cute, passive 18-25 y/o for no strings fun. Can accommodate. Box SG23015. Scott from Lochgelly Needs his fingers warmed to help him lose weight. Can you help? Scott love in East Fife. He also has well-developed buns that need a good leathering. Box SG23016. Aberdeen - Fraserburgh Tall, passive male with dark hair, cool clean and fresh WLTM male who will leave him hot, sweaty and sticky. Box SG23017. VWE 27 year old Edinburgh Guy Looking for fun guys that are into active passive fun FF TT aromas. Also like clubbing. Can travel/accommodate. Send photo with letter in return for mine. Box SG23018. Glasgow/Anywhere 40's. guy looking to meet guys who are 18-25, slim/smooth, N/Sm and genuinely into older guys. CP interest an advantage. Box SG23019. Glasgow - Wanted - Young Wrestler You're under forty, smooth, muscular (or working on that) and enjoy a fun wrestle. I'm fit, fifty, 5' 8" and want to inspect you on my mat or yours. ALA. Photo? Box SG23020. Hungry TV Slim and sexy 40s TV with hungry mouth seeks male friend for regular get-togethers. I also enjoy being spanked. Box SG23021. Oriental Guys Professional GWM, 27 y/o, 5' 8" tall, medium build, handsome, blue eyes, brown hair, hairy chest, S/A, S/L, N/S, looking for smooth gay Oriental for fun and friendship, possible 1-2-1. ALAWP. Box SG23022. Edinburgh - Islands/Highlands English lad, sporty, masculine, genuine and horny seeks Scottish mates for discreet fun visits anywhere rural welcome. Box SG23023. Falkirk - Glasgow - Edinburgh 45 year old heavy bear seeks guys, any age, looks not important. I prefer guys with good personalities. Will answer all letters. Box SG23024. Dundee/Tayside Mature male, 50's, S/A. N/S. Passive, varied interests, looking for active guy similar age group or younger who prefers older men and also seeks friendship or relationship. Can travel/accommodate. Box SG23026. Lonely, Needs Company Shetland, 33yrs gay guy needs someone to brighten up my quiet, lonely life. Please write, visitors welcome. Box SG23027. Anywhere in Scotland Assertive, 44, seeks guys needing discipline with hand, slipper, cane etc., on either shorts, jeans, kilt, briefs or bare. Letter outlining you specific need(s) with photo (returnable) essential. Box SG23029. Glasgow - Company Wanted Mid-50's in Glasgow end of September seeks guy, 18-30 for company, for a meal and drink. ALA with photo, phone no. Appreciated. Box SG23031. Golf Lessons Wanted Tayside guy seeks someone to give him golf lessons and maybe more. Fit active good looks, very good sense of humour. Box SG23032. Muscular Top/Skin/Latino wanted I'm looking for a genuine straight acting, active, very Muscular Latin type/Skin/Biker/Rugbytype for good hot hard times, fun. Box SG23033. Big, Beefy Lads Wanted, 18-35 For strict training by whip and cane by experienced master. Central Scotland/Anywhere. Box SG23034. Tall & Slim Guy, 19-24 Guy EH1 186/70/28 into cycling, swimming, gym, I.T., travelling, beaches seeks tall, slim, reliable, sincere, genuine, honest guy 19-24 for nights in/weekend. Photo appreciated. Box SG23035. Skinheads Wanted By 35 year old; Skins wanted in full kit for hot heavy wet action into verbal, gob, W/S, bootlicking, army, leather and rubber gear. Write with photos. ALA. Box SG23036. Glasgow 23, 6', GL, SA Guy, brown hair and eyes WLTM GL guy for laughs, friendship and poss. 1-2-1. ALA. Box SG23037. Where Are All The Skinny Guys? This Fife guy would love to meet them! I'm 40 year old passive, S/L S/A and N/S. Can travel or accommodate. You 18-60 but must be slim. Singles/couples welcome. ALA. Box SG23038. Glasgow - 3 Or More! Two friendly guys 35/36 seek other SA/SL horny guy(s) under 38 for uncomplicated, safe but adventurous fun. No time wasters/phoneys. Please ALA photo/tel.no. if possible. Box SG23039. Leather Novice Wanted Handsome leather lads 18-30 wanted to learn to serve well equipped forty leather master. Novices should be horny and keen to learn all aspects of leather/rubber safely. Glasgow/Edinburgh. Box SG23040. Glasgow - Fife - Edinburgh Areas Male, 43, slim build, balding, WLTM guys for fun and friendship. Into denims, shorts, briefs. Travel or accommodate. Box SG23041. Glasgow - West Coast Slim, straight acting, 26, 5'10", dark hair, told VGL, GSOH, seeks slim wee bruvver, 18-26, preferably blond, for hugs, normal fun and no BS. Hopefully leading to relationship. ALAWP. Box SG23042. Bear Seeks Cubs Gentle 32 year old bear seeks cubs, 18-40, for friendship, poss 1-2-1. Come and get me before hibernation season. ALAWP but not essential. Can travel or accommodate. Box SG23043. Gay Or Bi Curious? Considerate mature (40) gay guy offers safe first time experience to younger guys. Student types welcome. No strings. Total discretion assured. Your limits respected. Non smokers preferred. Can travel or accommodate. Box SG23045. Stirling Mature student (40's) offers off-campus fun and friendship to younger undergraduate. Discretion available (if required). Box SG23046. BISEXUAL Edinburgh/Glasgow Bi-male, 33, seeks female (28-35) for friendship, hopefully leading to 1-1. Looks not important, sincerity and honesty are. I like pubs and clubs, cosy nights in. GSOH. ALA, photo please. Box SG23025. LGBLO, Needs New Friends Hello! I'm LGBLO for HMPs and in need of gay/bi friends. I'm 24, 6ft, good-looking, long brown hair, looking for people 12-50 VGSOH, educated and understanding. Get the pen ready. Box SG23030. Edinburgh Mistress Is shocked at the sheer levels of indiscipline in Scotland and will reply in due course. FRIENDS ABROAD 2 Hot Spaniards!!! We are 2 hot guys from Spain visiting Scotland next August. We're 34 and 30 y.o., handsome, very well built, masculine and with a lot of interests. We're looking for masculine Scottish guys (to 35) to show us their country and their customs. We promise you great fun. E-mail: zipotz@ctv.es as soon as possible. Visit and Fun 2 Yanks from Los Angeles will be visiting Edinburgh on October 12-14. Looking to see the sites and "meat" the locals. Pics and bios at http://www.divanet.com/bond/ E-mail me for more: bbond@4link.net Romantic ISO Scottish Kilt Wearer Romantic, 44 year old Indo-German, near MUNICH, ISO of very active, hairy rugged Scotsman in a Kilt. You should be a totally active top, tall and athletic built. I would love to host and or visit your country and you and perhaps we can become good friends and lovers. Am no game player, am serious about commitment and still believe in "true love". Have a fine eye for good taste, enjoy museums, Scottish dogs, travel, classical music, the opera and lots of humours, intelligent conversation. Am widely travelled and a warm-hearted, genuine person. Don't smoke or do drugs. If interested: call (00 4989) 96201227 pvte./Rebonto. Bahnhofsplz. 5 /#49 D-85737 ISMANING. ACCOMMODATION Edinburgh Room to let in warm, quiet flat. Clean tidy person over 30 would be nice, non-smoking, not into frying food or meat. Call 0131-554 3986. JOBS OFFERED Cash For Your Body Photogenic guys can earn ukp75 cash - or ukp100 with chest and arm definition - posing for Mike Arlen who has had 13 glossy magazines published called Mike Arlen's Guys. Send snapshots of your magnificent body to him: Mike Arlen, Wetherby Studios, 23 Wetherby Mansions, Earls Court Square, London. SW5 9BH or call him on 0171-373 1107. Edinburgh - Help Wanted Older guy wants help with domestic jobs on regular basis. Good rates paid to willing helper. Maybe suit student or part-time worker. Box SG23028. Models Wanted Previously published photographer needs good looking guys (18-25) who want to earn ukp20 per hour for publication work. For details please telephone Stuart on 0141-636 6556 (No withheld numbers please) or E-mail me: sborg16184@aol.com SERVICES Contact Mag Contact Mag for adults: contains over 600 photos. Approval copy from: Matchmaker (K38), Chorley, PR7 4BS. Or ring: 01257 480155 (24 hours). Golden Wheel Seeking discreet gay or bisexual new friends, male or female? Long standing service, all areas and worldwide. Send stamp for details to: (Sadie), The Golden Wheel, Liverpool. L15 3HT. International Pen Friends Would you like to correspond with gay men all over the world? It is possible through INTERGAY, an international gay pen club. For all information, write to: INTERGAY, Voorstraat 12-A, 4033 AD, Lienden, The Netherlands. Martin's Cleaning Service, Lothians Domestic Household cleaning done to a high standard. Also caters for voyeurs. Confidential, private service. Tel. 0131-552 1870. Painter And Decorator Female painter and decorator. Glasgow based. Call Zoe Smith on 0141-402 2112. Pen Friends Lesbian Gay and Bi Pen Friends, non profit service, Box numbers, Monthly listings, no out dated ad's, free voice mail, SAE PO Box 2000, Horwich, Bolton, Lancashire, England, BL6 7PG. Tel/Fax 01204 667747 or e-mail lgb@clara.net WWW: http://www.angelfire.com/ga/lgb/index.html Worldwide Penfriends Regular lists. Make friends, exchange holidays, improve your languages. For general and music lovers' lists send ukp3 to "The Penpal List", c/o 221B Merton Road, Southfields, London. SW18 5EE. BACK RUBS Back Rub Plus - Paisley Still Going Strong! Erotic Sensual Backs Rubs Offered by Handsome Hung Guys. Available for in/out calls. Satisfaction - You Bet! Call Chic or Mike 0141-889 1764. Anytime. Best Massage At Best Price Too! Sensual all over body massage by passive, stout and cuddly gay man. To visit: call 0131-271 0481 or leave number and name on Ansa-Phone. See you soon! Black Male Escort Educated, discreet, expensive VWE escort - women welcome too. In or out calls. Tel: 07970 528229. Central Scotland Black, active muscular VWE lad. A discreet and friendly body rub. 12 stones, six footer. CP available. Call Chris 07050 082461. Edinburgh Masseur A caring skilled personal touch at excellent poundstretcher value. ukp15. Jim. 0131-556 7199. Escort - Kissogram - Massage The very best for entertainment. The ultimate in sexual fantasy. Private shows or parties: the choice is yours. Telephone: 0411 284558. Glasgow Callum Handsome hunk in a kilt, 25, hairy, hung, Scotland's longest running and finest masseur is available for in/out calls 7 days. Satisfaction guaranteed. Ex clients welcome. ukp30 per hour. 0421 753 677. Rub You Right Stressed and Overworked?? Relax with a sensual back rub. Your pleasure is my delight. Call Jamie - 0403 237403. Anytime. VIDEOS Gay, Bi, TV, TS XXX Videos. Extensive range of top titles of excellent quality. ukp20.00 each. Send SAE for lists to EZE (SG), Box 43323, Glasgow. G12 9WB. Or call 0973 980553 for immediate delivery, Central Scotland 9am - 9pm. WHERE TO STAY Ardbeg House Ardbeg House Hotel, Dervaig, Isle of Mull. Welcome breaks, two nights or more, ukp27 per person per night, Dinner B&B (some en-suite rooms with four poster beds). Scenically situated. Beautiful period country house full of character, home comforts and good food. Phone Neil on 01688 400254. Birmingham, West Midlands Sebastion Guest House. Telephone: 0121-455 9459. Large Georgian house located in the city centre, close to the gay village, all rooms colour TV, double beds, tea/coffee, communal lounge, sun room and large gardens. Central Private Hotel Mixed clientele, Junction 28 M1, short distance to Nottingham, Derby, Sheffield, ALTON TOWERS, Sherwood Forest, Rooms En-suite, Licensed Restaurant, vegetarians, laundry service. Own front door key, no restrictions, Massage & Sunbed room. Weekend rates available. Phone: 01623 552373/Fax: 01623 443106. Edinburgh Mansfield House - Small elegant guest house within minutes of bars/clubs. All rooms have colour TV, tea and coffee making facilities. Basic room or En Suite. Continental breakfast available until midday. 57 Dublin Street, Edinburgh. EH3 6NL. Tel/FAX: 0131-556 7980. New York and San Francisco Pride Travel has the largest selection of gay and lesbian friendly hotels, guest houses and apartments in New York, San Francisco and throughout the USA/Canada. For brochure, phone Pride Travel-USA on 01273 606656. Provincetown USA Provincetown - America's most popular gay/lesbian resort. It's like being at Gay Pride every day of the week. Live the legend. For free brochure telephone Pride Travel-USA on 01273 606656. Rothes Glen Hotel Moray's premier country house hotel, in acres of grounds and glorious views towards the Grampian Mountains, is noted for warmth and friendly service. Six miles south of Elgin, midway between Inverness and Aberdeen. Contact Michael or Freddie, Rothes Glen Hotel, Rothes, Morayshire. AB38 7AQ. Telephone: 01340 831254. E-mail: 101516.1660@compuserve.com Southern Spain B+B. Private luxury villa, pool secluded. Stunning views to Mediterranean. Close to gay beaches, busy scene. For brochure: Tel/Fax Chris, Peter, 0034 524 73252, mobile 0034 509 55665. The Maltings Bed & Breakfast Small guest flat double room. Friendly Service. Homely atmosphere. Midway between Edinburgh, Dundee and Aberdeen. Call Peter on 01674 674148 or mobile 0831 438999. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- VENUES ====== Aberdeen ABERDEEN WOMEN'S CENTRE Shoe Lane, off Queen Street. Tel: (01224) 625010. Fax: 01224 625777. Wed 10am-4pm, Thu Noon-4pm. Where the women hang out. Lesbian group meets Wed 8-10pm. CASTRO BAR AND CLUB 47 Netherkirkgate. Tel: (01224) 624472. Mon-Fri 5pm-2am, Sat-Sun 3pm-2am. Aberdeen's longest established gay venue. CLUB 2000 62 Shiprow. Tel: (01224) 596999. 9pm-2am. Aberdeen's newest gay pub/club. Small and intimate. Cabaret (drag) every Friday. DJ on Saturday. Dundee DEVA'S 75 Seagate. Tel: (01382) 226840. Mon-Sat 11am-Midnight. Dundee's long established gay bar. Dance floor with DJ Thu-Sat. Pool table. Something for everyone! LIBERTY NIGHTCLUB 124 Seagate. Tel: (01382) 200660. Wed-Sun 11pm-2.30am. Good atmosphere, very popular disco with wide selection of sounds and the occasional act/PA. Thursdays and Sundays are quieter - but not much. BAR XS St Andrew's Lane (behind Liberty Nightclub). Tel: (01382) 200660. Mon-Sat 8pm-Midnight. Sun 8-11pm. Cafe/bar for lgbt clientele under the same successful management as Liberty to which it has its own entrance. Dunfermline CLUB XS 33 Carnegie Drive (opposite Fire Station - enter from rear). Tel: (01383) 626501. Lounge Bar: Wed-Fri 3pm-Midnight. Sat Noon-Midnight. Sun 7pm-Midnight. Nightclub: Fri-Sat 10pm-2am. Newly opened rendevous for Fife lgbts. Karaoke on Thur and Sun. Edinburgh Opening Times During the Edinburgh Festival, the times shown are likely to be greatly extended with late licences being the norm. BLACK BO'S 57/61 Blackfriars Street. Tel: 0131-557 6136. Daily Noon-2pm (in the bar) and 6pm-10.30pm. Superb little vegetarian restaurant. Friendly staff. Mixed clientele. Excellent value lunch menu. BLUE MOON 1 Barony Street/36 Broughton Street. Tel: 0131-556 2788. Mon-Thu 9am-1am, Fri-Sat 9am-1.30am, Sun 9am-Midnight. Popular lesbigay cafe/bar complex. BOBBIE'S BOOKSHOP 220 Morrison Street. Tel: 0131-538 7069. Mon-Sat 10am-5.30pm. Mixed bookshop selling a selection of UK and imported gay magazines. CAFE KUDOS 22 Greenside Place. Tel: 0131-556 4349. Daily Noon-1am. Food Noon-9pm. Fresh, stylish and always crowded. Mainly gay but tolerant of well behaved heterosexuals. CAFE LUCIA 13-29 Nicolson Street. Tel: 0131-662 1112. Generally 10am-10pm but hours vary according to performances. Mixed bar attached to the Edinburgh Festival Theatre. Full of luvvies and their friends! CATWALK CAFE 2 Picardy Place. Tel: 0131-478 7770. FAX: 0131-478 7771. Not going for a gay clientele, but still decidedly gay friendly. C.C. BLOOM'S 23 Greenside Place. Tel: 0131-556 9331. Mon-Fri 7pm-3am, Sat-Sun 2pm-3am. Karaoke on Thursday and Sunday. Male strippers Sun at 4.30pm. Disco every night from 10.30pm. CITY CAFE 19 Blair Street. Tel: 0131-220 0125. 11am-11pm. Not as outrageously mixed as it used to be, but still seriously conventional. CLAREMONT BAR & RESTAURANT 133/135 East Claremont Street. Tel: 0131-556 5662. FAX: 0131-558 3539. Bar: Mon-Sat 11am-1am, Sun 12.30pm-1am. Restaurant: Mon-Fri 11.30am-2.30pm and 6pm-10pm, Sat 11.30am-10pm, Sun 12.30pm-10pm. Gay owned, gay friendly and renowned for courtesy, comfort and good food. WWW: http://members.aol.com/scifipub E-mail: scifipub@aol.com CLOUDS 16 Forth Street. Tel: 0131-550 3808 FAX: 0131-550 3807. A gay-owned Letting Agency helping people find flatmates/tenants and tenants find flatshares/flats. E-mail: cloudsacc@aol.com CYBERIA 88 Hanover Street. Tel: 0131-220 4403. Daily 10am-10pm (12pm-7pm Sun) Friendly mixed cybercafe with friendly mixed staff. Where the wired queers hang out. WWW: http://www.cybersurf.co.uk/ E-mail: edinburgh@cybersurf.co.uk DIVINE DIVA'S The Venue (Top Floor), 15 Calton Road. Tel: 0131-556 8997. Every fourth Friday - 9.30pm-3am. Women only one nighter with all proceeds going to Edinburgh Switchboard. EDINBURGH LESBIAN GAY AND BISEXUAL CENTRE 58a and 60 Broughton Street. Houses PJ's , Nexus Cafe-Bar, OUTRIGHT Scotland, Pride Scotland and Massage for Health. Also provides meeting and noticeboard space for many lesbigay organisations. Private mailboxes available. FANTASIES 8b Drummond Street. Tel/FAX: 0131-557 8336. Mon-Sat 10am-9pm, Sun Noon-9pm. Scotland's ONLY licenced SEX shop where you'll be made welcome by the very bearish Vince (who's straight) or Paddy (who isn't). Toys galore, video rental too! Glamour shop upstairs. FOUR BBBB's CLUB 26b Dublin Street. Tel: 0131-538 7775. Big Beary Bulky Boys have their own club at Intense in the New Town Bar on the 4th Friday of the month. 8-10pm - bar opens to non members 9pm-1am. FRENCH CONNECTION 89 Rose Street Lane North. Tel: 0131-225 7651. Mon-Sat Noon-1am, Sun 1pm-1am. Intimate bar just off Rose Street Crawl. Never a dull moment. Karaoke Tue/Fri. JOY Wilkie House, Cowgate. JOY Info Line: 0131-467 2551. 10pm-3am. Saturdays: Sept 19th, October 17th, November 14th and December 12th. Joy, Scotland's most upfront gay club! ukp7 members/ukp8 non-members (reduced entry of ukp5/ukp6 before 11pm). E-mail: clubjoy@hotmail.com WWW: http://freespace.virgin.net/alanjoy.dj/joyhome.htm MASSAGE FOR HEALTH 58a/60 Broughton Street. Tel: 07970 921209, 0131-669 8039 or 0131-478 1090. By appointment only. Therapeutic massage from ITEC qualified practitioners Anne and John. Concessions available. NEW TOWN BAR 26B Dublin Street. Tel: 0131-538 7775. Mon-Thu Noon-1am. Fri-Sat Noon-2am. Sun 12.30pm-1am. Especially popular with Bears, but has wide clientele. Intense, the sub-basement leather and fetish bar is open Wed-Thu 10pm-1am, Fri-Sat 10pm-2am and Sun 10pm-1am - men only, dress code. NEXUS CAFE-BAR 60 Broughton Street. Tel: 0131-478 7069. 11am-11pm. The cafe at the Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Centre. Friendly, homely and usually busy. E-mail: nexus1cb@aol.com No EIGHTEEN 18 Albert Place. Tel: 0131-553 3222. Mon-Sat Noon-10pm, Sun 2-10pm. Sauna club for gay gentlemen - run by a couple of straight Dykes! Open on Sundays - great for that aprs Kirk Session! THE OUTHOUSE Broughton Street Lane. Tel: 0131-557 6668. Mon-Sat Noon-1am. Sun 12.30pm-1am. Gay friendly cafe bar in a small lane in the gay triangle. OUT OF THE BLUE 36 Broughton Street. (Downstairs at the Blue Moon Cafe). Tel: 0131-478 7048. Noon-9pm. New gay and lesbian store selling books, mags, videos, wearing apparel, etc. Providing some welcome competition for Mrs Tubby Bear at PJ's! PERMISSION Shady Lady's, Cowgate. Next date: September 13th 10.30pm - 3am. Happy Hour 'til 12am. Pan-sexual fetish club with dance floor & play space. Dress code (anything impressive and non-Nazi). E-mail: permission@hedonism.demon.co.uk Web: http://www.hedonism.demon.co.uk/permission/ PJ'S 60 Broughton Street. Tel: 0131-558 8174. Mon-Sat Noon-7pm, Sun Noon-5pm. Gifts and toys for gay boyz and girlz. ROUTE 66 6 Baxter's Place. Tel: 0131-524 0061. Mon-Sat 12.30pm-1am, Sun 3pm-1am. Misnamed - it's the best Route to a 69 that we've ever found - ask for details of where the bus stops are! A shame they've taken the real ale out. THE STAG & TURRET 1-7 Montrose Terrace. Tel: 0131-478 7231. 11am-late. Friendly gay boozer just round the corner from the Solas Centre. Under new management. SOLAS CAFE Solas HIV/AIDS Support & Information Centre, 2/4 Abbeymount. Tel: 0131-661 0982. Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri 11am-4pm, Wed 5-9pm. Good home cooking (everything cooked on the premises). Vegetarians and carnivores catered for. TACKNO Club Mercado, 36-39 Market Street. Tel: 0131-226 4224. Last Sun of each month 11pm-4am. DJ Trendy Wendy. Mixed and crowded club night. TASTE The Honeycomb, 36-38a Blair Street. Tel: 0131-220 4381. Info Line: 0131-557 4656. Sun 11pm-3am. Weekly mixed members' club with DJs Fisher and Price. THEATRE ROYAL BAR 24 Greenside Place. Tel: 0131-557 2142. Mon-Sat Noon-Midnight. Basically straight, this Real Ale bar (formerly a Gas Board Showroom) in the middle of Edinburgh's Gay Triangle attracts a fair number of queers for an off-scene pint before heading for nearby fleshpots. WEB 13 13 Bread Street. Tel: 0131-229 8883. Mon-Fri 9am-10pm, Sat 9am-6pm, Sun Noon-6pm. Informal mixed cybercafe with homely and approachable staff. WWW: http://www.web13.co.uk/ E-mail: queries@web13.co.uk Falkirk DROOKIT DUCK 16 Grahams Road. Tel: (01324) 613644. Mon 11am-3pm and 5pm-11.30. Tue-Thu 11am-3pm and 5pm-12.30am. Fri-Sat 11am-1am. Sun 7pm-Midnight. Straight bar used by a few discrete local gays. Near to Grahamston station. Galashiels GREEN'S DINER 4 Green Street. Tel: (01896) 757667. Mon-Tue 10am-5pm. Wed-Sat 10am-10pm. Mixed. discreet trendy cafe/bar. Regular meeting place for all Border Town lesbians, gays and bisexuals. Closed Sundays. Glasgow AUSTINS 183a Hope Street. Tel: 0141-332 2707. Mon-Fri 4pm-Midnight, Sat-Sun 2pm-Midnight. Friendly and busy basement pub. Entertainment most evenings. Happy hours: Mon-Fri 4-9pm, Sat 7-10pm. BENNETS NIGHTCLUB 90 Glassford Street. Tel: 0141-552 5761. Tue-Sun 11pm-3am. Beautifully appointed busy club. Frequent PAs. Tuesdays are straight. CCA Centre for Contemporary Arts, 350 Sauchiehall Street. Tel: 0141-332 0522. Centre open Mon-Wed 9am-11pm Thur-Sat 9am-Midnight Sun Noon-5pm. Bookshop Mon-Sat 10am-6pm Sun Noon-5pm. Galleries Mon-Sat 11am-6pm Sun Noon-5pm (admission free). Two galleries, two performance spaces, cafe bar and bookshop. Lesbigay friendly place bustling with life, the universe and everything. Wheelchair accessible apart from upstairs performance space. E-mail: gen@cca-glasgow.com CAFFE LATTE 58 Virginia Street. Tel: 0141-553 2553. Mon-Sun Noon-Midnight. European style diner. Relaxed atmosphere. Wide selection of pastas, pizzas and sandwiches. CENTURION 19 Dixon Street. Tel: 0141-248 4485. Fax: 0141-400 1080. Sauna and Shop: Sun-Fri Noon-10pm, Sat Noon-Late (Allnighter). New Steam Room all the way from Peterborough. Very busy on Sundays! CLONE ZONE 35 Virginia Street. Tel: 0141-552 3103. Mon-Wed 10.30am-7pm, Thu-Sat 10.30am-9pm, Sun 1.30-7pm. Largest gay shop in Scotland. Clothes, videos, magazines, toys. WWW: http//www.czone.demon.co.uk/ COURT BAR 69 Hutcheson Street. Tel: 0141-552 2463. Mon-Sat 11am-Midnight, Sun 8.30pm-Midnight. Small bar beside former Sheriff Court. Straight until mid-evening. DELMONICA'S BAR AND GRILL 68 Virginia Street. Tel: 0141-552 4803. Daily Noon-Midnight. Busy pub with backroom area (not THAT kind of backroom!). FUNKY CROP SHOP 35 Virginia Street. Tel: 0141-552 9790. Mon-Wed 11am-7pm, Thu 11am-9pm, Fri-Sat 11am-7pm. Unisex hair dressers located in Clone Zone shop. Does body shaving and waxing on request. Appointment not always necessary. GGLC CAFE-BAR GGLC, 11 Dixon Street. Tel: 0141-400 1008. 10am-Midnight. Full breakfast always available. Home cooking. Now back under the capable hands of Martha! GLASGOW GAY & LESBIAN CENTRE 11 Dixon Street. Tel/FAX: 0141-221 7203. Mon-Sat 10am-10pm, Sun Noon-5pm. Glasgow's community centre for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. Cafe. Two large meeting rooms available for hire. In a state of flux after recent changes in management. Not as busy as it should be - it needs your support! Fully wheelchair accessible venue. WWW: http://www.gglc.org.uk/gglc/ E-mail: gglc@gglc.org.uk INTERNET CAFE 569 Sauchiehall Street. Tel: 0141-564 1052. Mon-Fri 9am-11pm, Sat 10am-11pm, Sun 11am-11pm. Friendly staff, mixed clientele, full Internet access from ukp2 per half hour. Food served all day. WWW: http://www.linkcafe.co.uk/ E-mail: tim@linkcafe.co.uk THE LANE 60 Robertson Street Lane (off Argyle Street). Tel: 0141-221 1802. Noon-10pm. "Exotic Gay Men's Club" with sauna and private cabins. Promotional offers. Look for the green light. LOVE BOUTIQUE The Arches, Midland Street. Tel: 0141-221 9736. 11pm-3am. 1st Saturday of the month. Busy mixed club popular with the younger crowd. OVER THE RAINBOW BISTRO 6 Kersland Street. Cafe: Thur-Tue 9am-5pm. Bistro: Mon-Sat 7-11pm. Friendly cafe/bistro in the heart of the West End run by two beautiful, recently married, drama queens. Mixed clientele. Full vegetarian menu available. BYOW. Booking advised in the evening. PENELOPE'S 18 Jamaica Street. Tel: 0141-400 1423. Tue 11pm-3am. Weekly club night. DJ Colin. Regular PAs and drinks promos. Entry ukp2/ukp3. THE POLO LOUNGE 84 Wilson Street. Tel: 0141-553 1221. Mon-Thu Noon-1am, Fri-Sun Noon-3am. Upmarket bar. Voted No.1 club in UK by Boyz. SADIE FROST'S 8-10 West George Street. Tel: 0141-332 8005. Noon-Midnight. Bar meals Noon-7pm. Friendly staff who compliment the upmarket decor. Nice and convenient for rail travellers to the North and East of Scotland. TIN PAN ALLEY 39 Mitchell Street. Tel: 0141-248 7377. Mon-Tue. 11pm-3am. Free entry. Drinks ukp1.50. Not very busy. TRON THEATRE CAFE BAR 63 Trongate. Tel: 0141-552 8587. Noon-Midnight. Friendly theatre bar. Mixed. VICTORIA BAR 157-159 Bridgegait. Tel: 0141-552 6040. Mon-Sat 11am-Midnight, Sun 12.30pm-Midnight. Basically straight, but justly popular with Glasgow's many Real Ale queens and dykes. THE WATERLOO 306 Argyle Street. Tel: 0141-221 7359. Daily Noon-Midnight. Semper idem! Popular, crowded, down to earth gay drinking shop. Scotland's oldest gay bar - what more can we say? Busy, busy, busy! Inverness NICO'S BAR/BISTRO Glen Mhor Hotel, Ness Bank. Tel: (01463) 234308. Wed and Fri 9-11pm. Smart relaxed bar popular with local gays especially on Wednesday and Friday nights (9.15pm onwards). Mixed clientele. Stirling BARNTON BISTRO 3 1/2 Barnton Street. Tel: (01786) 461698. Mon-Thur 10.30am-11.45pm, Fri-Sat 10.30am-12.45am, Sun Noon-11.45pm. (Food: Day and early evening). Near to railway station, Mixed, busy, bohemian and friendly bar/bistro. Popular with students and Sons/Daughters of the Rock alike. Good food. Real Ale. InsideOut: a monthly magazine for lesbians, gays and bisexuals. ISSN: 1360-9327. Edited, printed and published in Scotland. (c) Pageprint Publishing Limited, August 1998. PO Box 666, Edinburgh. EH7 5JW. In even numbered months, InsideOut appears as part of ScotsGay. Non profit use by the lesbigay community of material in the magazine will normally be permitted free of charge - but contact us first for permission. We haven't had sex with most of the people who appear in the magazine, so we don't actually know what their sexuality is. Editorial: Tel: 0131-539 0666. Fax: 0131-539 2999. E-mail: scotsgay@drink.demon.co.uk. Internet World-Wide-Web: http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/ Advertising: Tel: 0131-558 1279. Fax: 0131-539 2999. Subscribing by E-mail: Send a 'subscribe scotsgay-list' message to listserver@drink.demon.co.uk and the text files of future editions will be delivered to you by e-mail. -------------------------------------------------- INTERNATIONAL ============= by Rex Wockner 250,000 AT GAY GAMES V Fifteen thousand participants from 88 countries and more than 250,000 partiers flooded Amsterdam in early August for Gay Games V. Speaking to 35,000 people at the closing ceremonies at Arena Stadium, Operations Director Niek van der Spek said: "Most important are the experiences of the participants: the woman from Vanuatu, an island where only three women know each other's secret, or the Zimbabwean soccer player and all others who in daily life fear to be out and open about their identity. They all shared for eight days sports and culture, parties and celebration. The friendship they expressed, walking hand-in-hand in an open, accepting city, is what Gay Games is about. "The international gay and lesbian community has shown its diversity and has been very visible," van der Spek said. "Visibility gives inspiration, breaks down stereotypes, leads to respect, gives us a place in this world and, in the end, will change laws." Forty-two percent of participants were women and 238 came from non-Western nations. The 29 sports events, 14 artistic workshops, two marching bands and 32 gay choirs filled 56 venues across Amsterdam. Sixty-two employees and 3,042 volunteers kept the massive program running. Peter Prijdekker from London's Out To Swim broke European Master records in the 50- and 100-meter freestyle for his age category (50-54). More than 100 meet records, national Master records and gay records were broken in swimming and track and field. The opening ceremonies were viewed on live TV by 1 million Dutch. More than 1,000 media representatives covered the Games, including from such unexpected places as Argentina, the Czech Republic, Hong Kong, Hungary, Poland and Turkey. There were a few sour notes. The ice-skating competition was cancelled because of disagreements with the International Skating Union. Several tour operators reported problems with hotel bookings. And as the Games began, the board of directors fired the executive director for financial mismanagement. The Amsterdam City Council came to the rescue with a $2.5 million bailout so the Games would not be disrupted. FIJI BANS DISCRIMINATION AGAINST GAYS The new constitution of the South Pacific nation of Fiji bans discrimination based on sexual orientation, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reported last week. The sexual-orientation clause has raised the hackles of some politicians and church leaders, who say it will increase homosexuality and permit gay marriages. The Methodist Church and the Fiji Council of Churches petitioned Prime Minister Sitiveni Rabuka to overturn the measure. Rabuka responded by asking the attorney general to try to amend the clause out of the constitution via action in the Parliamentary Committee on Consequential Legislation. South Africa is the only other nation that bans discrimination based on sexual orientation via its constitution. NEW ZEALAND A Hamilton, New Zealand, lesbian who had three children via artificial insemination while with her ex-lover will receive child-support payments from the woman, the city's Family Court has ruled. The court said the payments are appropriate since the partner is the children's legal step-parent. VENEZUELA The head of Caracas, Venezuela's Metropolitan Police has defamed gays. After 11 male students were arrested for marching naked to protest plans to begin charging tuition at universities, Chief Francisco Belisario said: "It is not proper behavior for men to show themselves in the nude before the public. It is more something identified with homosexuals, transsexuals and sexual deviants." The men could be jailed for up to a month on indecency charges. They marched nude because the institution of tuition "will strip bare the educational system." CANADA A journalist for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation in Edmonton, Alberta, won spousal benefits for his lover recently in a ruling by Court of Queen's Bench Justice Lionel Jones. "It's a great victory," said Denis-Martin Chabot, who first filed an arbitration grievance over the matter in 1994. The ruling seemingly removes any doubt that an employer can withhold gay-partner benefits when union agreements ban discrimination based on sexual orientation, activists said. COSTA RICA In the U.S., American Airlines is a frequent sponsor and supporter of gay events. But Costa Rica's Pink Triangle Association (PTA) says the airline won't give the group the time of day. "The manager here in San Jose, Rodrigo Troyo, has never returned our phone calls or responded to our [faxed] requests to meet with him," said Pink Triangle Executive Director Francisco Madrigal. "This behavior gives the impression that American Airlines in Costa Rica is homophobic." Troyo did fax PTA suggesting they contact American's head office in Dallas. "We sent a fax to Dallas and left messages but have never received a response," said Madrigal. "We would like some help from the office here in San Jose as international calls are expensive for us." ITALY Italy's biggest Roman Catholic magazine polled Catholics in hopes of finding they disapprove of gay-partnership laws but learned that 72 percent of Italian Catholics believe non-married couples deserve spousal rights. The magazine, Famiglia Cristiana, was less than enthralled with the result. "We are facing a very real breakdown of reason," the editors wrote. "There are not and cannot be couples, and consequently families, that are real and proper outside the marriage between a man and a woman." The national gay group Arcigay called the findings "revolutionary" and demanded a referendum to enact a spousal-rights law for non-married couples. The survey was conducted by the SWG polling agency, querying 800 people. ------------------------------------------------------------------ REVIEWS ======= b o o k s Queens' Country By Paul Burston Paul Burston has always been a purveyor of classily intelligent gay commentary and in this latest book, he does not disappoint. The book is a Brysonesque travelogue that attempts to explore the different flavours of gay experience throughout Britain; from gay Young Conservatives in Derbyshire to the plastic insularity of the London scene by way of stops such as Essex and Edinburgh. The book is definitely Queens' Country; lesbians play a very peripheral role (and seemingly a lot of pool!). However, on the basis that a travel writer should write about what they personally experience, this is understandable. In short, this book is clearly a rallying cry against an obsession with "gorgeous pop, handsome boyz and good times" to the exclusion of the real. It's also very funny. I say read it. PS. He even has a few good words to say about ScotsGay. Not that we'd let that influence us. Oh no. Simon James -------------------------------------- f e s t i v e Dick at The Graffiti One way to survive the Festival for three weeks is to gather together the things you'd like to see at one or several nearby venues. Monday last I saw five of at the Graffiti, ranging from very good to great. First came Mike Hatchard, the very talented jazz pianist in the graveyard slot for what is essentially an evening act - a small but select audience loved him. Next came the extraordinary Herbie Flowers who made ukp15,000 out of Clive Dunn's Grandad and once accompanied the New Seekers in front of an audience of two in Dubai. Herbie had Mike Hatchard on piano and gave a great set enjoyed by 25 or 30. After enjoying 15-1 and Countdown, it was back for the Sony Award's Jazz Singer of the Year - the amazing Tina May who has the vocal range of Cleo Laine, stunning words and was also accompanied by the ubiquitous Mr Hatchard and Herbie. I then joined fifty or sixty enthusiastic souls for Flamenco Puro Al Andaluza which I think means pure flamenco from Andalucia. Lots of rhythmic wiggling and well-toned and honed bodies with one female and several males in the group. Breathtaking. And then... Fado the Portuguese ballad form sung by the stunning Cristina Branco. Wonderful is an understatement. I could easily spend the whole festival at this venue. They also have some great East European stuff which I have yet to see. Take a look for yourself! All above except Fado run until 31/08; Fado ends 22/08. Richard Wilson -------------------------------------- Edinburgh University Savoy Opera Group - Trial By Jury Bunbury & Co - The Zoo An interesting production of Trial By Jury set in modern times. A shame that the Tenor didn't do himself (or the production) justice. However, the ensemble singing was tolerable and the Counsel for the Plaintiff (Petrea Cooney) superb. On the other hand, The Zoo, a rarely performed romantic musical folly set between the refreshment stall and the bear pit, was superb throughout in what, despite Bunbury & Co's protestations, amounted to a professional performance under the capable musical direction of Moray Nairn. And make sure that the bears don't steal your buns! John Hein -------------------------------------- Icon Theatre Company Icon When I think of Scarborough I think of a resort that for years was boycotted by trade unions and other bodies because of its attitude towards gays. More recently it has got a reputation as a place where the council is more interested in looking at toilets than looking at theatre. In short, it is the last place from where one would expect good theatre to emerge, but it has. It became clear on entering the theatre that this was not going to be a tame performance, as the music was pounding and the actors led the audience to their seats and handed out programmes. As we started reading them so did the actors, looking over people's shoulders. It was soon apparent that this was one performance space and we were part of the performance. And what a performance it was with actors on stage (and everywhere else), video, film, music, and text projected onto the back of the stage. All too often one sees companies who think that technology can be used as a substitute for talent. It can't. What Icon do is show just what can be achieved when people with talent use the technology to the full to provide truly innovative theatre. Even more surprising is that this performance which could put many a professional company to shame is by a student company. Theatre to blow the mind. ARTTS International Bi Now,Pay Later I had some problems with the basic concept of this, which is a man is at the reception desk in purgatory and can't get through the bureaucracy because of his sexuality. However this idea is no sillier that some of the rubbish the world's major religions would like us to believe. The story concerns Michael (David Mildon) who cannot be processed by either the heterosexual or homosexual departments because he is bisexual, and the essential theme is that we should not try to pigeon hole people because of their sexual orientation. The silliness of the story got in the way for me, but there is good acting, particularly by Alex Woodhall who plays a sort of human computer (it works better on stage than in print), and the direction is good and well thought out to make excellent use of the limited space. Venue 13 Saturday Night Forever This superb play by Roger Williams tells the story of Lee, the men in his life and his relations with his parents. Lee lives in Europe's fastest growing capital city (Cardiff) and unlike his partner does not have the dance gene in his DNA, which makes the club scene difficult for him. With much humour and a fair deal of tragedy we have a first rate show one often searches so hard to find on the Fringe. Carolyn Cohagen No Spleen Every now and then on the Fringe one needs a break from all the serious stuff, to take time out and have a good laugh. Carolyn Cohagen is someone who can admirably facilitate this. With a show that concentrates on ill health and taking the piss out of the more demented religious freaks we have the perfect way to end a day. Jo Parkes & Company Ant Infestation and other Female Concerns A silly title but superb dance. Split into 8 separate dances and with considerable use of voice this young company excel with a witty and thoroughly enjoyable mix of movement styles. The Laboratory Ripe Three women on stage or under a sheet talking or moving about fruit. A man in the audience started eating an apple. It was about as interesting as the things on stage. Luckily this show only lasted 24 minutes. The venue staff seemed surprised that anyone turned up to see the show and looked embarrassed when letting us in. I can well understand why. Rubbish. Trestle Theatre Beggars Belief If one were to draw up a short list of the finest theatre companies in Britain today there is no doubt that Trestle would be on it. They don't disappoint. As usual the characters wear masks, the difference is there is a lot of dialogue. However this is Trestle and as this play was developed with Kherson Theatre of the Ukraine who speak no English and Trestle speak no Russian, the dialogue is in a made up language. Amazingly it works. The story is based on a painting by Breugel showing blind beggars who put on puppet shows and tells of how they came to be blind, and how they live their lives. Who but Trestle could take this material and turn it into comedy? But turn it they do with their usual superb skill and fine sets. 90 minutes of the finest entertainment you will see in Edinburgh. Pantomime Productions Chloe Poems is Kinky The gingham diva is back or is she? This wonderfully witty and original show starts off with Chloe who has had to shed her gay, socialist, transvestite poet image as it just isn't selling tickets. If, like me, you are at a show where there are more empty seats than full ones this works rather well. After a couple of deliberately dreadful alter egos we are back to the Chloe of old. Only Chloe has matured, the gags are better, the poems funnier, and the whole show has a more polished feel. Subjects such as the Vegetarian Vampire of Old Dudley Town show Chloe at her demented best. The tribute to Princess Di (Crash Bang Wallop What a Picture) was too respectful for my liking, but it was clear that we were in for an outrageous end with "I Want to be Fucked by Jesus". Only we weren't, instead we got a poignant tale about a confused gay teenage alter boy who takes the message "Jesus loves you" all too literally. However if it was controversy that was wanted we got it in "I Want to be Fucked by Jesus II". A poem that would have Cllr Moira Knox turning in her grave, which is where she would be after the heart attack she would undoubtedly have if she saw the show. Clare Summerskill What Lesbians Do on Stage What lesbians do on stage if Clare Summerskill is anything to judge by, is entertain wonderfully. With a surprisingly mixed audience I laughed throughout and it was clear that there were some jokes that went well over my head. Particularly good was the lesbian shop sketch based on a car showroom, but the whole show was well put together and was just the thing to round off the night. Wonderful. Tim Bray Me and My Vice Tim Bray is a gay man from New Zealand. What is his vice? I think it is chocolate. This is a show with a series of well thought out, well crafted, and well performed sketches. The problem is that most of them were not very funny. OUThouse Theatre Company Contracts There are shows that as you go into the theatre you go "Wow". This was one of them. This collaborative work by 17 young gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered members of Stonewall Youth Project had clearly given a lot of thought to the way into Theatre Workshop with someone dying in a hospital bed right in front of you before you reach your seat. As you do reach your seat projected onto a huge screen are actors talking about love. Can they keep up this high standard for 90 minutes? Frankly, no. According to the programme "`Contracts' is a view of what it is to be a gay teenager in Scotland". This appears to mean that you become HIV positive and die. Is this the central message they wanted to convey? Clearly not, and there was much that was admirable in the play. I particularly liked the intelligent use of video in the scene where Luke (Chico Kumar) comes out to his parents. There are also some fine songs by Jake Tatton, unfortunately I can't be quite as positive about the quality of some of the singing. So does it work? On balance, just, and for good use of space it can't be faulted. 1157 Performance Group Transmission - Part 1 This was certainly different. A 15 minute introduction to the rules by the moderator. 5 people seated round a table, one in a wheelchair for no apparent reason. A woman with a blender at another table blending fruit and veg into a drink during the show. She would occasionally utter a single word. The rules: a statement about AIDS was made, a gun fired, and the panel had 4 minutes to discuss it. Then the audience had 1 minute to comment, then the panel had 1 minute to respond to the audience comments. There was then some music and usually inane dancing by some of the panel before we moved onto the next statement. Could it have worked? Yes. The panel deliberately gave out some controversial ideas and all were presented with equal legitimacy. Given a large audience with a broad cross section of views this could have been fascinating. Did it work? No. There was an audience of 6. One guy responded to the first question and I commented on his reply. This unfortunately shut him up for the rest of the show. All other audience participation consisted of me or another guy feeling that we had to say something about each question and as we didn't disagree about much, this didn't help. I'm told Part 2 is far more conventional and more interesting. Broken Dream Theatre Company I Can't Even Think Straight. I saw this two years ago and was impressed by the quality of Gavin Armstrong's writing. Having seen it once I was reluctant to see it again, but was told it had been significantly reworked and had my arm twisted. The basic story is still the same, Steve who is looking for a guy places a lonely hearts advert which is misunderstood by TC, a woman who replies. Two years ago this was a brilliant play, now additionally it is a work of comic genius with a laugh at almost every line. See it if you possibly can. Fecund Theatre Fascinations from the Crowd At first I thought this was not going to work. Various short scenes featuring assorted individuals with nothing in common but all in their own way with what to them is a sensible lifestyle given their likes and level of income. Then we get to the interesting bit, these people do not live in isolation, they coexist in cities; in the streets, on trains, in shops, in hospitals. Meeting other people as students, workers, lovers. Encountering people of the same or different sexual orientation, in pubs, in clubs, everywhere. Exploring how these interrelationships come together to give much of the chaos and insanity of modern society is what this show is about, and it does it brilliantly. I'm not in the habit of leaving a performance and shouting "sensational" at the first member of the theatre staff I see. I did after this show. Oxford New Writing Festival The Square Root of Minus One This new play by Peter Morris is about 4 sixth formers at an American boarding school . (I didn't think American schools had "sixth forms".) Two of them are bullies who befriend a brilliant mathematician, Dewis (Samual R Crane), but the object of their bullying and SM desires is Wiggins (Dom Treadwell-Collins). Witggins has the hots for Dewis and a confused sexual relationship develops between them. As a result of this he is unable to tell the teachers about the torture Wiggins is being subjected to. The square root of -1 comes into this because Dewis is having problems rationalising what is happening in his life and how rules should be followed, and the parallels he is finding in mathematics where irrational numbers which don't follow rules can still be used. To be honest, I had great difficulties with the scene where a wimp like Dewis stands up to the headmaster (I thought US schools had Principals), but the acting was fine, there were a few good jokes in the script that the entire audience got immediately, and I'm not sure whether it was down to the quality of the writing or the acting but after one scene between a teacher and a pupil where there was nothing overtly sexual I heard someone in the next row whispering to their companion "I reckon he's a poof". Clearly this company are getting a lot right. Artcore Kvetch When this started and I saw all the actors with painted faces I thought "Oh no, this is going to be dreadful". It wasn't. This play by Stephen Berkoff cleverly interposes what a group of people are actually saying and what they are really thinking. Most of the action takes place at a dinner where a man who does not get on with his wife or her mother invites a friend from work back for the evening. Rich in humour and with truly memorable sex scenes. Tooth and Nails Theatre Company King of the Halls: A Rags to Drag Story I really had no idea what I was letting myself in for with this one. Two women lying on stage throwing coins into a hat. This looked frighteningly like the worst of student drama. The opening words of "Fuck, wrong play" proved it was not, but this had been a superb piss take of it. This was comedy dressed up as a story about a Victorian music hall male impersonator written by Alison Yates and performed by her and Claire Mace. Yates has quite an exceptional comic writing ability. I particularly liked the way that when one of them went to prison we heard Holloway FM prison radio. The politically incorrect "Street Cries of London 79" which featured the screams of one of Jack the Ripper's victims being murdered was a comic gem, and there were many more. A thoroughly enjoyable 50 minutes. Martin Powell -------------------------------------- Scott Capurro Brain Soufflé Pleasance Over the Road Two August 5th to 31st Scott's tongue must have been firmly inside his cheek (or some other part of someone else's anatomy) when promoting his latest Fringe outing as being "fun for the whole family"! This excellent play, penned by the irrepressible cutie from San Fran, tells the woeful tale of Tom, a southern Baptist, alcoholic and closeted comedian. Managing to cover the extremes of gay angst with Scott's usual razor-sharp humour, the play also develops into a very dark tale of obsession, sado-masochism and eventually death. On the way we are treated to some hilarious one-liners and frighteningly realistic observations into everyday gay life. Oh yeah, and a couple of really deliciously disgusting gags as well. After last year's slightly disappointing stand-up routine, Scott is right back on faultless form with this year's sit-down-meets-theatre hybrid. And for those in the audience who perhaps hadn't consulted the show's flyer before-hand, the twist at the end is well worth waiting for! "From Hell She Came" Pleasance Over the Road August 6th to 31st (not 11th, 25th) This devilishly good, black comedy is part fairy-tale, part musical and part '50s B-movie. It's all gloriously OTT stuff, as we witness small-town Charleston Falls descend into a hotbed of devil-worship and promiscuity. Pious and protective mother Demelza Clegg, played brilliantly by prolific stage, radio and TV actor James Biddlecombe, succumbs to the forces of evil after a stranger sets up shop in town. The stranger is, in fact, the devil-in-disguise, determined to seek revenge for Demelza's refusal, 18 years back, to sacrifice her newborn daughter. The character of Frances Clegg, also played by a male actor, Edward Bryant, discovers her true sexuality when a female agent comes to investigate the strange goings-on. But she's not the only bender in town as we gradually discover a little more about Grip Kennedy, the "butt-fucking-closet-case" local cop. From Hell She Came is a fast-paced, wickedly funny piece of theatre, featuring physical performances from all cast members, some pretty slick set-changes and plenty of hamming-it-up campness. No surprise then that it comes to the Fringe following a sell-out season at London's Freedom Theatre. A definite festival must-see. Donna Jackson in "Car Maintenance, Explosives and Love (CMXL)" Pleasance Two August 7th to 31st If a feisty female in dirty overalls, explosions and rock'n'roll are your particular scene (and even if they're not) then check out this off-beat production from down under. Donna Jackson is not your average Kwik-Fit fitter, more of a loose spark-plug, as she throws herself around the stage, climbs ropes in frustration and dispenses advice on relationships and love, through the language and culture of car mechanics. Here's one antipodean girl addicted to motors and sex in equal doses, who possesses an unhealthy penchant for fuse-wire and sticks of dynamite. The ultimate orgasm comes, perhaps, from creating the biggest and loudest explosion. The intriguing aspects of Donna's persona are the underlying contrasts. On the one hand she embraces violence, yet she's not a violent person, she may be anarchic, yet enjoys order (she reads car repair manuals for their method and structure). It's also unusual to come across the whole car/sex thing confronted from the opposing gender. Donna Jackson gives a breathtakingly physical performance in CMXL, manages to tackle several salient issues with both humour and originality, and leaves you wondering if it's really possible to repair a relationship like you can an old banger. Earl Okin in [Earl Okin] "Musical Genius - Sex Symbol!" Southside Courtyard August 7th to 30th The first part of Earl's show title I'd have to agree with, the second boast I'm not so sure about! But then I guess the dapper chappy is after an altogether different sort of partner: "I'm not married, I'm not gay, I'm available." For 75 minutes this Fringe stalwart entertains all with his combination of subtle, though perceptive, humour and unique musical talents. With a raise of an eyebrow and an occasional pout of the lips Earl transports the audience on an aural journey from jazz to Bossonova. On the way the blandness of country and western is touched upon - all the female exponents apparently resemble the "Queen Mother with a stetson on" - and there's a biting observation on the work of a certain West End-musical writer. Whether he's playing the guitar or keyboard, or simply getting cosy and anecdotal, Earl Okin's deadpan delivery is fabulously funny. A straight act that's likely to appeal to a wide-ranging audience. True class indeed. Absolute Banana Theatre Company "Beautiful Thing" South Bridge Resource Centre August 9th to 22nd (not 16th) Most people are probably pretty familiar with this urban tale of love between two teenage boys. Jonathan Harvey's play was successfully translated into a hit film a couple of years ago (OK, has anyone not seen it?) and this new, upbeat stage production brings a fresh look to what has quickly become something of a contemporary classic. For the odd reader who hasn't seen the movie, the basic plot is simple enough: boy number one (Jamie, played here by the gorgeous Benjamin Trumper) falls for boy number two (his next-door neighbour, Ste, played by the equally-gorgeous James Forshaw). Besides their initial fumblings, the interest lies in the lads' differing reactions to their queerness, and from their relationships and interaction with the other characters. Jo Larkin, playing the Mama Cass-obsessed, antagonistic slapper Leah, deserves particular merit for her spirited performance. Inevitably, comparisons are constantly drawn with the celluloid version, but this production by the Absolute Banana Theatre Company from Birmingham, with its enthusiastic young cast, makes a compelling variation (and includes some additional one-liners). And did I already mention the oh-so-huggable two male leads? Broken Dream Theatre Company "Drag King" C too August 6th to 31st "Women love me. Men love me. Even I love me". Sarah-Louise Young, as the sophisticated and seductive Drag King, manages to question not only notions of sexuality, but also gender distinctions. Between some relaxing numbers, she (he?) recalls tales of ex-lovers and past sexual conquests - both male and female. This is a calming, intimate one-person show, well suited to both the cosy atmosphere of the venue and the late hour. The lighting is moody, and the alluring Sarah-Louise possesses a wonderful, mesmerizing singing voice. A '90s interpretation of '20s decadence, Drag King is cutting edge cabaret. Please give us some more. ABLAZE Theatre Company "Rupert Street Lonely Hearts Club" Bedlam Theatre August 10th to 22nd Jonathan Harvey, best known for hit-play and hit-film Beautiful Thing (also staged at this year's Fringe), offers up something altogether different with "Rupert Street". At root level, the play is a simple fly-on-the-wall - a window to the lives of five diverse characters. On a more cerebral plane, Harvey manages to touch upon prickly issues such as the limits of brotherly love, and although the play is quite lengthy, the timing and the acting are both beyond reproach. A real rollercoaster ride through the emotions, set against the frequent bouts of belly-aching - finding out tranny Fifi (aka Dean) flips burgers at McD's by day - Rupert Street also contains a sizeable slice of twenty-something anguish. Unfortunately, despite its many positive attributes, the play is rather ineffective and ultimately unfulfilling. I know gay life is not always full of carefree socializing and hedonistic encounters, but now and then it's reassuring to come across gay leading characters who are less angst-ridden or intent on visiting martyrdom. In Your Space Productions "Last Night A Boy Band Saved My Life" Old St. Paul's Church & Hall August 10th to 22nd Billed rather grandly as being a "rock opera", this In Your Space Productions musical is actually a cheesy, very much tongue-in-cheek look at that scourge of '90s popular music - the boy band. With their exaggerated pelvic thrusts and Calvs yanked up uncomfortably high, the fictitious "Thrust" are a wily parody of this particular genre. Perhaps there's some hidden irony in the fact that neither lad is outstandingly handsome (in the Boyzone/Backstreet meaning of the word), although the legions of young female `fans' in the audience may disagree! The fairy-tale plot centres around teeny-bopper Lucy's infatuation with the boys, and how seductive and (putting on the cynic's hat for a second) possibly even corruptive their style of music can be. The musical numbers are punctuated with Shakespearean-like stanza, in a droll fashion, by the narrator, and part-time janitor, Dan Haythorn. `Last Night' is loud, brash and colourful, has some pretty fair singing in it, plus more than a few amusing moments. There isn't much in the way of gay interest here (depending on your taste, of course) - we're told the boys are after "money and muff". But, like a vibrant and smutty edition of Eurotrash, the show begs to be loved. LADS present: "Death" by Woody Allen Bedlam Theatre August 10th to 15th I suppose you either love or hate the work of the prolific, bespectacled one, but this production of Woody Allen's "Death" would probably fail to register a hit even with his most ardent of fans. The short play did contain some laudable elements, like when the central character Kleinman confronts a lesbian lady of the night on his nocturnal journey through the ominous city streets. Toss in an entertaining case of mistaken identity, a highly-fanciable bungling police officer and some superior choreography, and you have several reasons for success. Unfortunately, these are rather outweighed by the opposing facets, including a cacophony of disparate accents, a firm lack of general funniness, and a burdensome performance by Vince Spangenberg playing Kleinman - a definite case of him trying just a little too hard to mimic the inimitable Mr. Allen. No need for Woody aficionados to rush out and make their own minds up though, Death gave its terminal Fringe performance on August the 15th. Broken Dream Theatre Company "Torch Song Trilogy" C too August 6th to 31st I really cannot heap sufficient praise upon The Broken Dream Theatre Company at this year's Edinburgh Fringe - "Torch Song Trilogy" being the middle play of their three must-see productions. Where on earth do the actor and actress who've just finished in the first show, "I Can't Even Think Straight", find the stamina to then appear in Torch Song for 90-odd minutes? Especially under the stage-lights of the unbearably hot C-too loft. Somehow they, and the four other cast members, manage to hold the attention of everyone in the tightly-packed audience, with some exemplary, genuinely beguiling performances. Harvey Fierstein's familiar play deals with Arnold Beckoff, an earthy New York drag queen, and the trio of loves in his life. In addition, many gay issues are brought under the spotlight, such as the hang-ups associated with bisexuality and the erotic anonymity of backroom encounters. There are some wonderful set-tos in the play: a marvellously bitchy telephone conversation between Arnold and lover Ed, and a final showdown confrontation when Arnold's mother comes to visit - discovering that her son's adopted a 15 year old delinquent. Raw nerves are frequently exposed, the humour is often pointed, but at no time is anything forced upon us. All the performances appear so natural. Definite five star stuff. "The Lady Boys of Bangkok" Theatre Big-Top The Meadows August 14th to 29th "Lady Boys" is an incomparable, much-talked-about show, to be missed at your peril. Most members of the twenty-strong troupe are transvestites, while a handful describe themselves as transsexuals. However, hard as it is to believe after watching them, all have male stamped upon their passports, and because some choose to remain in female clothes offstage, they have encountered just a little immigration consternation in the past. Inevitably, the Lady Boys do attract voyeuristic speculation (the hettie couple beside me were transfixed by the boys nether-regions), and, of course, some transformations are more convincing than others. Try to ignore the obvious though, and what you have is a lavish, big-top extravaganza -just check out those costumes! Traditional Thai and Japanese music merge with contemporary western dance sounds, in an exotic, multi-coloured spectacle. There are some raunchier, solo routines, the predictable "I Am What I Am" and "My Way" numbers, as well as a passable Spice Girls rendition. Proving that they're not freaks in frocks, the Lady Boys are unique, talented artists who set out to entertain, and that they do with style. Another, slightly more off-beat, '98 highlight then. Scott J. Reid -------------------------------------- Arguably the best production I've seen this Fringe is Death and Dancing on at St. Columba's by the Castle (C too) by Byte 2 Infinity. I've always liked Claire Dowie's work and this is certainly no exception. The premise is fairly simple: two students, one gay, one lesbian, share a flat. However, they start to get into arguments about sexuality, gender roles and stereotypes. What makes this work is the sheer range of the arguments and the areas they cover. It might sound all rather serious and they do indeed cover some very important points about what it actually means to be male and female, lesbian and gay, aiming for success and aiming for self-fulfilment. Most importantly it talks a whole lot about the sometimes very troubled relationships between gay men and lesbians who ought to be natural partners but who tend to end up and enemies. A great plus of this play is the way it manages to deal with serious issues in significant depth and yet manages to do so with a great deal of humour, "Sometimes I have a burrito for dinner, doesn't make me a Mexican". I particularly like the way that both the characters need each other to understand themselves. The staging, in the mezzanine theatre of C Too, is an excellent choice. It provides a small, intimate space that makes the small shared space of the characters flat come to life. The claustrophobia and sheer pace of the production help to bring out the depth of power of the arguments as the characters explore what is meant by love and what they both want out of life and love. The two actors, Alice Bartlett and Phil Yarrow, put in excellent performances that bring the play to life in a fast, action packed, funny, moving and thought provoking piece. Claire Dowie herself appears in another of her plays, Easy Access. She has slightly rewritten her own work to make it a solo performance with pre-recorded scenes on video forming part of a `video diary'. This is a very dark work, dealing with childhood sexual abuse. Claire plays Michael, a rent boy. It starts out with Michael saying that he'd hate to fall out with his father over "something as meaningless as sex". However, as the play develops it becomes clearer that there's a lot more to it than this. Through the video diaries and Michael's reaction to them on stage we discover how he really feels about things. Early on we also find that Michael's father, Ed, has stolen the videos and watched them. As they're Michael's personal diaries he feels this is a gross invasion of his personal space. The video diaries continue and build up an ever more disturbing picture of what actually happened and how the various characters feel about it. Michael then discovers that his father now has a new live-in help at his bar and she has a child. Fearing for the child, Michael decides he must confront his father and his live-on help. This builds to a surprising and very shocking climax. Claire manages to perform very well as Michael and the actors who only appear on video also put in good performances. This is a very intense and frightening work, not in any way pleasant but contemporary, very hard hitting drama. Mack the Knife is back in The Threepenny Opera (Southside Courtyard). This musical tells of arch-villan Mack the Knife and his attempts to stay ahead of the law whilst cheating on various `wives'. Meanwhile all the poor are being controlled and are only allowed to beg where they're told they can. Will love save the day? Can the coronation happen without the queen being upset at all of London's poor? Who is in the right and what is the solution to all of London's problems? This is a fine musical, well performed and sung by the Z Theatre Company. Don Juan at the Bedlam is Edinburgh University Theatre Group's adaptation of the classic story. A dying Don Juan is led through the history of life and each of his villainies is described and re-enacted. Don Juan is perhaps the ultimate con-man of old Spain, his silver tongue and cunning allowing him to charm women of their virginity and men of their fortunes and lives. Well staged and acted this is an interesting piece of theatre. David Benson (Assembly Rooms) returns after last year's success of Think no evil of us with a new work With Great Pleasure. This, in addition to the usual wonderful digressions, is his interpretation of the life and death of Diana. His mother comes on stage beforehand to reassure the audience that although some people may find parts of the performance in bad taste he really is a very nice boy! This sums up a lot about David, he manages to point out the absurdities of life, sometimes not quite following the path of pure acceptability, but ultimately he is a very nice boy. Take special note of his own conspiracy theory on the death! Every year I make the trip to go and see Kit and the Widow on at the Cafe Royal. They were, as ever, wonderful. This year's performance is set in a lay-by as they head on up to Edinburgh for the Fringe. Many songs are performed, many wrongs righted and a fun time is had by all. Of particular interest to ScotsGay readers is their excellent parody of the House of Lords debate' on the age on consent. However, nobody is safe and soon the pro-hunting lobby are also castigated. Their range of targets is extensive and well deserved and they hit with deadly accuracy. After several year's absence, Ennio Marchetto returns at the Pleasance. For those who haven't seen him before its a pretty hard act to describe. Using a series of paper costumes he works his way through a wide variety of music performing caricatures of the performers. These are always spot on and the costumes themselves are a major part of the fun. Particularly fine are his Madonna and the Mona Lisa. Morgan's Boy's, on at Garage Theatre, is a tale of male prostitution. Which is odd as both of the characters, buyer and seller, are heterosexual. So just what is going on? Nothing is quite what it seems and no-one is quite who they appear to be. The play explores both of the character's needs and just how they relate. There are many unexpected twists and turns to the plot leading to a very dramatic and surprising conclusion. This is well performed and startling work all the more impressive for being the author's first work. Doctor Faustus on at the Viewforth Centre, is a production of Marlow's play by Absolute Banana Theatre company. The setting is transformed from the great doctor's study into a student flat with Faustus himself a student. I don't feel this works quite as well as it might because Faustus's fall occurs because he's reached the pinnacle of his success and yet still yearns for more. It doesn't quite ring true that he's a student looking for more; at least not without more of a re-write. However, the play is reasonably well performed by a young cast who shed some new light on the classic play. Jim Darby -------------------------------------- f i l m This month it takes Spain to come up with sexual dialogue to surprise or shock. "Caresses" (PG) has a guy of mature vintage arriving at the flat of a dishy young man in his early twenties commanding him: "Give me a blow job" which be immediately does - even if we only see the back of his head doing it. Another scene between a straight couple after their affair has ended has the most insulting sexual dialogue I've ever heard onscreen. A scene of domestic violence will also stun many with a woman retaliating by punching and kicking her lover on the floor. However, much of all this is compulsively watchable. The plotline would sound ridiculous if there was space to detail it. Suffice to say there are some very plain and very attractive people in dramatic situations. If only director Ventura Pons realizes in future audiences are rarely entertained by watching very plain or elderly people suffering. Nevertheless I will watch out for anything he does in future. The gay undertones in "Haman - The Turkish Bath" take a while to develop and then are far too underplayed. Allessandro Gassman and Francesca d'Aloja are a married couple running a successful interior design business in Rome. He inherits property in Istanbul and flies to Turkey with plans to sell it, but finds his aunt has left him a rundown turkish bath that has appeal. The custodians of it are a middle-aged couple with a son and daughter in their latter teens. Allessandro has been growing apart from his wife and she had started an affair with their business partner. When weeks pass during which her husband says he is redecorating the turkish bath Marta flies to Istanbul wondering if he could have formed a relationship with the daughter of the family. But one night she finds him in the hamam with the son, Mehmet, wearing small towels and kissing. It is the first feature film written and directed by Ferzen Ozpetek who is Turkish, but spent years studying cinema in Rome before making TV commercials. He has made three quarters of an engrossing film and his very pleasing leading man inherited his good looks from his father, Vittorio Gassman, an Italian matinee idol of the fifties and sixties. But the last five minutes are not likely to satisfy British and American audiences. Other countries don't seem to mind unresolved stories or crimes that are not paid for. Nevertheless, I am grateful to Mr Ozpetek for making me aware of Allessandro Gassman. The late Francis Bacon has a reputation of being one of Britain's greatest artists, but it was a very peculiar decision to make a film about him for in "Love Is The Devil" (18) very little of his paintings are ever seen. The meticulous research Derek Jacobi puts into everything means he makes Bacon amusingly arrogant. But the only plotline is the devastatingly attractive Daniel Craig playing a burglar who lowers himself into the artist's flat from a skylight to find the gay Francis studying him approvingly and saying: "You can take anything you want if you stay the rest of the night." Director John Maybury couldn't explore the bacon masochistic obsessions in much detail. The desperate lack of plot is almost made up for by Daniel Craig's very attractive presence. If only the British Film industry was organised we would be seeing a lot more of him. If you are wondering whether it is worth saving the money for a South American holiday the ideal way to help make up your mind is tracking down the Ninth Latin American Film Festival between 4th and 17th September. The Glasgow Film Theatre in Rose Street plus the Metro cinema In London's West End will have a dazzling array of movie product from the world where Carmen Miranda originated. The choice is over 30 contemporary feature films and fifteen documentaries. There is the UK premiere of "Men With Guns" by John Sayles that wont be released here till next year. "Boleiros" is a collection of stories that pay homage to soccer and the myth of wealth and celebrity status that surrounds top Brazilian football players. "Nobody's Woman" made in 1937 by Adela Sequeyro, was the first ever sound film directed by a Latin American woman. Or, for those of us looking for young romance, there is "How To Be Single In Rio De Janeiro". I'm already saving for my first visit there. You will know Kelsey Grammer from TV's "Frasier" and "Cheers" as the psychiatrist Frasier Crane. In a hilarious new comedy "The Real Howard Spitz" (PG) he plays a very unsuccessful detective novelist whose publisher has just rejected his latest novel. His ex-wife to threatening to have him thrown into jail for not making her alimony payments. By chance he picks up a children's book in a shop and finds that best sellers only contain 200 words. With advice from 7 year old Genevieve Tessier on what children really want to read he creates Crafty Cow, the cow detective, and his first book does so well that many follow. But Genevieve puts a price on her advice. Rearing that Kelsey had been a detective once she pleads with him to track down her father who hasn't been heard of for years. British director Vadim Jean (whose "Leon The Pig Farmer" was quite a hit) has assembled a witty and very entertaining movie. The soundtrack includes cleverly edited segments of songs of the past and present that fit brilliantly with the mood of each scene. I will look forward to Mr Jean's future plans. From France we have "Secret Defense" (PG) and director Jacques Rivette knows what he in doing by casting Sandrine Bonnaire as his leading lady, an actress with great style. Her younger brother suddenly informs her he needs a gun to revenge their father who died, supposedly by accident, five years before. He is convinced their father was murdered by his business partner to gain control of their company. I would have appreciated at least half an hour less than its two hours and 50 minutes. From Russia we have possibly the most uncommercial film over put together, "Hands" (PG), which was made by a director obsessed with filming beggars in appalling plights. It has brought Artur Aristakisyan several awards for originality. There is no dialogue - just his voice on the soundtrack. It is only relieved with some enchanting shots of poverty stricken children which made me wonder why the vast number of Russian orphans is not a subject that appeals to him. Current Releases With a similar plot to "Deep Impact" we have "Armageddon" (12). A vast meteor is heading for earth through space and Bruce Willis is sent out there with his team to divert it. Easy enough to send up these films, but young audiences love them. The eminently desirable Ben Affleck, playing a young man engaged to Bruce's daughter, made it very easy viewing for me. It cost a fortune to make and looks it. For those of us who don't demand chase sequences and prefer Victorian romantic drama "Firelight" (15) is a joy. In 1837 a Swiss governess, Sophie Marceau, accepts a financial proposition from an English aristocrat, Stephen Dillane, in order to release her father from debt. The man insists on concealing his identity from her. She travels to a hotel on the Normandy coast where, in utmost secrecy, the man joins her and they spend three nights together. A business transaction transforms into a revelatory experience for both of them. But he has family obligations and insists they never meet again. Nine months later she gives birth to a baby girl, but under the terms of her financial agreement the child is immediately taken away from her. Seven years pass and she travels to an opulent house in Sussex to become governess to Louisa, a notoriously rebellious 7 year old. Stephen, the owner, to horrified to recognise the women with whom he spent three life changing nights eight years ago. "Firelight" is a time trip to another world we only know through books. I loved it. "Eve's Bayou" (15), set in a small backwater Louisiana community, shows the world from the point of view of 10 year old Eve, and an interesting world it is. Lust in the long grass and liberal dashes of voodoo kept my interest going. First time director and writer Kasi Lemmons can be well pleased. "Metroland", (18) brings a greater sexual frankness to the screen than you will find in most of our scripts. Londoner Christian Bale is in Paris as a struggling photographer sowing his wild oats with the lovely Elsa Zylberstein when the equally lovely British Emily Watson comes into his life whom he eventually marries. Coming home and settling down to a job with wife and child is satisfying. But old schoolfriend Lee Ross, who has been travelling the world, turns up and suggests they explore the world together as he is in a rut. Malcolm Epstein ------------------------------------------------------------------ SWITCHBOARDS AND HELPLINES ========================== BORDERS GAY SWITCHBOARD: Thurs 7.30-10pm Phone: Galashiels (01896) 756611 CROSSLYNX NATIONAL TV/TS HELPLINE: Mon 7.30-9.30pm Phone: 0141-332 3333 DUMFRIES AND GALLOWAY L&G PHONELINE: Thurs 7.30-9.30pm Phone: Dumfries (01387) 261818 DUNDEE LGB SWITCHBOARD: Mon 7-10pm Phone: Dundee (01382) 202620 EDINBURGH BI HELPLINE: Thurs 7.30-9.30pm Phone: 0131-557 3620 EDINBURGH LESBIAN LINE: Mon, Thurs 7.30-10pm Phone: 0131-557 0751 FIFE FRIEND: Fri 7.30-10pm Phone: Kirkcaldy (01592) 266688 FORTH FRIEND: Mon 7.30-9.30pm Phone: Stirling (01786) 471285 GLASGOW LESBIAN LINE: Wed 7-10pm Phone: 0141-552 3355 GRAMPIAN LESBIAN, GAY & BISEXUAL SWITCHBOARD: Wed & Fri 7-10pm Phone: Aberdeen (01224) 633500 (Minicom available) Fax: Aberdeen (01224) 634055 LOTHIAN GAY & LESBIAN SWITCHBOARD: Nightly 7.30-10pm Phone: 0131-556 4049 MORAY LGB SWITCHBOARD: Men: Tue & Fri 7-10pm Women: Thu 7-10pm Phone: Elgin (01343) 541188 STRATHCLYDE GAY AND LESBIAN SWITCHBOARD: Nightly 7-10pm Phone: 0141-332 8372 LONDON LESBIAN AND GAY SWITCHBOARD: 24 hours Phone/Minicom: 0171-837 7324 WWW: http://www.llgs.org.uk/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- MUSIC ===== Alan's Chart 1. Greece 2000 - Three Drives (Olav Basoski "Work `M To Death Funkmeister Dub") (Massive Drive) 2. Mrs Wood - 1234 (Whitewood Mix / Mark Nrg Remix) (React) 3. Social Security - Heaven I Need (Johan S Detox Dub Mix) (Diverse) 4. Tin Tin Out With Shelley Nelson - Sometimes (Baby Blue Remix / Camisra Remix) (:VC:) 5. Sash! Featuring Tina Cousins - Mysterious Times (Tin Tin Out Mix) (Multiply) 6. Storm - Storm (Man With No Name Remix) (Positiva) 7. Steve Morley - Reincarnations / Shadow Of Life (Jinx) 8. Channel Tribe 2 - Neuro Disco (Clockwork) 9. Andy Jarrod - Storm Cycle (Dub Mix) (Generis) 10. Moby - Honey (Sharram Jey's Sweet Honey Mix) (Mute) 11. T-Total - Don'tchoowanna (99*) 12. Amorph - Haraciri (Jan Driver Remix) (Formaldehyd) 13. Alda - Real Good Time (Stonebridge's Stoney-Boy Volcanic Dub) (Wildstar) 14. Algebraic - Burning Up (TP Club Mix) (Caged) 15. ATGOC - Repeated Love (Da Houseman Remix) (Wonderboy) 16. Tall Paul vs Billie - (Because We Want To) (Innocent) 17. Trilby - Home (KLM Dub) (Paral.lel) 18. Faithless - God Is A DJ (Serious Danger Mix) (Cheeky) 19. Taiko - Echo Drop (The KGB On A Bender Mix) (Southeast) 20. Universal - Just Too Scared (Pete Bones Green Card Remix) (Red Ant) -------------------------------------------------------------------- SCOTSDYKE ========= THE WELL OILED SISTERS The Well Oiled Sisters' two CDs of "nosebleed-drunk country with a twist of maudlin' cry in your beer", `Alcohol and Tears' and `Mad Girls Do Better', have received critical acclaim and frequent comparisons with k.d.lang. Favourites at Pride festivals around the world, the band is playing throughout the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and ScotsDyke caught up with two of them, Lucy and Angie, in the Spiegeltent after a performance of Lucy's other band, Three Piece Sweet First, Lucy explained how the band came together: -------------------------------------- We met at various places and times. There's a hardcore of three of us - me and the bass player Alex met in Edinburgh and Aley on drums now runs the Blue Moon Cafe - all you need is a name beginning with A! I've been playing with the bass player for ten years but the band has been in its present form for a couple of years." So what about the name? "It has three meanings - one meaning `efficient', one meaning `lubricated' and one meaning `pissed up'." The Sisters were thrust into the spotlight when Morrissey spotted them and promptly signed them up for his "Up Yer Arsenal European Tour". The sudden move from playing pubs to 20,000-seat arenas was an educational experience. "It was fucking terrifying and there were more than 20,000, but it was good for us. We went down really well - Morrissey and his band are really nice. We had to pull our socks up - the band is much tighter now. It aged us about 14 years." The band has played some interesting venues, including Kensington Palace. "How did you know about that? Over the years we've attracted various benefactors. This was some wedding reception for someone no stranger to the House of Lords and public toilets! Princess Margaret was at home at the time and she requested we turn it down. "One of the best gigs we played was in the last town before the outback - Pimba, population 36. We got a train there, and when we got off the train we found the stage was on the back of a cattle truck. We had Aborigines and miners all dancing together. We had 4,000 people there." Three Piece Sweet, on the other hand, just play the occasional gig in London for the love of it. "We usually play to screaming homosexual men who admire it `cos it's all camp, kitsch rubbish!" Lucy and Angie have their route to World Domination well mapped out: "We'll be recording , as soon as possible. We're going to Spain and Australia and we'll get very, very rich and live in Tahiti - The End! And drink Tahitian Tingles till we're sick." The Tahitian Tingle is apparently a special secret recipe involving a bottle of Brasso. Heather White and Feorag NicBhrìde --------------------------------------------------------------- CREDITS ======= ScotsGay: a bi-monthly magazine for lesbians, gays and bisexuals edited, printed and published in Scotland. ISSN: 1357-0595. (c) Pageprint Publishing Limited, August 1998. Non profit use by the lesbigay community of material in the magazine will normally be permitted free of charge — but contact us first for permission. We haven't had sex with most of the people who appear in the magazine so we don't actually know what their sexuality is. Editor: John Hein. Production: Seumas Macmhicean. Assistance: Simon James. Contributors in this issue: Garry Otton & Derek Ogg (Features), Granny Spice, Dawn Davenport, Liquid Silk, Martin Walker, Minerva, Calmac, MorayBitch & Gus (Scene), Rex Wockner (International), Martin Walker (The Nice Bit), Simon James, Martin Powell, Scott J. Reid, John Hein, Richard Wilson, Jim Darby, Heather White, Malcolm Epstien (Reviews), Alan Nicholls (Music), Heather White & Feorag NicBhrìde (ScotsDyke). Editorial Enquiries: Write to: ScotsGay, Pageprint Limited, PO Box 666, Edinburgh. EH7 5YW. Telephone: 0131-539 0666. Fax: 0131-539 2999. E-mail: scotsgay@drink.demon.co.uk We welcome news, articles, photos, cartoons, etc. — especially lesbian and bisexual material. Advertising Enquiries: Telephone: 0131-558 1279. Fax: 0131-539 2999. World-Wide-Web: http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/ Subscribing by Internet: Send a 'subscribe scotsgay-list' message to listserver@drink.demon.co.uk and the text files of future editions will be delivered to you by e-mail. If you wish to unsubscribe, send an "unsubscribe scotsgay-list" message.